Ancient History Relived in Battle Against K'Dan

A strange part of history was relived recently by the citizens of the central city.

It began when a strange misty-blue traveler came into town asking citizens if they were “ready for tomorrow” and “have the scholars memorized spells yet?” He asked all sorts of weird questions, calling some who were speaking to him as if they were his long forgotten friends. Some believed this man to be insane until some adventurers figured out that he was reliving events in some weird twisted program.

At midnight, a group of these beings set an ambush up in the woods. They had three explosive traps and set them off on unsuspecting adventurers. They then emerged from the woods and drew a circle around fallen bodies. Some were taken down and the adventurers went back for help. Among the captured were Ta’wané, Jack the Bard, and an imprisoned Tarsis Goldenbeard.

Reinforcements arrived and parlayed with the leader of these cutthroats. They found out he wanted them to bring to him Captain Derion so that he may face him in combat. Not knowing what in Tyrra the being was talking about, Jonathan Dragonhart nobly offered himself instead of the fallen earth caster Ta’wané. The being nobly agreed and she was freed to be healed. The being then released to the crowd a dead Jack the Bard so that he may be Lifed. He explained that he only wanted for Captain Derion to come out and face him.

Taking advantage of the situation, Lord Zachary led the charge forward and spelled the strange beings into the ground with the aid of the other adventurers.

The next morning, one of these beings came to town with a nonexistent letter and commanded the receiver to give it to Captain Derion and have his forces ready on the field of battle in fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes later, an army of misty-blue soldiers appeared and let their arrows fly as they began an assault on the town. Many waves were fought and their leader was none other than the strange traveler form the night before, now identified as “General K’Dan.”

K’Dan could not be taken down by any apparent means but his army was vulnerable to attack, and the Ashbans present took advantage of that situation. When his forces were routed, K’Dan held high in his hand three gems which began to glow and he uttered a cry that he would come back to reclaim his lands. Just then, all witnessed a mighty blow slash across his chest—although no one was seen to strike it—and he then disappeared.

Many adventurers found that some of the beings after being killed had turned into small blue gems but none of the size, shape or color of the kind seen held by K’Dan.

Shortly after that battle, a veteran of the original battle from 300 years earlier came into town and told many a tale of how she had served in the Evendarrian Royal Army and had fought side by side with Captain Derion in that legendary fight. She saw K’Dan’s hands glowing as if he were about to cast some horrible spell when Derion stepped up and cut him down before he could finish the verbal. She went on and on and drank many an ale but it was obvious to all that she was proud to have served under such a great man as Captain Derion.

Not too much later, the same being came into town with bow in hand and an invisible letter in the other. He walked up to Xavier and demanded to know where Captain Derion was. Again he handed over this “letter” and told Xavier to have his army on the field of battle in fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes later, the same exact fight occurred with the same exact outcome! Some adventurers noted how strange that some of K’Dan’s warriors were fighting imaginary opponents.

Some local astrologers noted that one reading of the current stars was that a great adversary from long ago was scheduled to return. Wistrick the Astrologer was one of them, and he remembered the accounts of General Barol K’dan and the gems that disappeared over time. Wistrik explained that it was unfortunate that Derion was only a human and died of old age long ago or else he could have helped the current people of Ashbury in some way. He was buried many years ago in a glorious tomb known to be impervious to thieves. The group Wistrik spoke to then suggested that they should perhaps search this tomb for clues and Wistrik agreed to show them where it was.

They entered the Ashbury Cemetery, located the tomb, and entered before dark. Among those in the group were Squire Gabriel, Jack the Bard, Calis, and Xavier. They disarmed many traps and were hit by numerous nasty blade swinging traps and bolts propelled through openings in the wall. The group also found many timed traps that were difficult to disarm. In between rooms, the group encountered and defeated the many rats that had made their home here.

In the last room was a blue-misty form of Captain Derion himself. After convincing him of not being graverobbers, the group learned much.

According to Derion, years ago before these lands were settled and conquered, there were savage barbarians ruling the area. King Ulson led a large expedition to tame the land and gain land for his empire. In his wake were the ancestors of today’s Sand Tiger barbarians. In a battle that lasted two years, many lives were claimed, but Ulson was victorious. Eager to continue northward, he left in charge Captain Derion to squash several small revolts and uprisings. A leader emerged from the revolts—General K’dan. He was fierce and led all within the village to pick up crude weapons and fight for their cause. During the major final battle, K’dan knew his forces were routed. In an attempt to cast some powerful spell, he raised up three glowing gems and began to utter some verbal. Derion slew him before he could complete it and assumed the gems as a war trophy.

A year went by and the gems began to glow from atop Derion’s fireplace. He brought the gems to the Tower of Dysillengia to be researched by three old elves who lived within. They could find nothing about the gems except that during three days each year just before the anniversary of K’dan’s death the gems would begin glowing. Derion explained to the group that he died long before any other information could be found out. He told them they should go to the tower to find out more.

When they returned to Wistrik and told him the tower’s name, he showed them where it is said to appear for three days every year, apparently now tied in to the curse on the gems. Before they ventured inside, they met an elven hermit who lived nearby and was busy repairing his roof. They explained their problem to him and their need to enter the tower. He brought forth a book of which contained his journals detailing the magic of the tower and the rules pertaining to its various rooms and floors and portals. If the rules were not followed properly, you could find yourself obliterated, he said!

After surveying the book and discussing its revelations with others in town, they knew what had to be done.

The portal on the first floor was entered by the group that discovered the existence of the tower. There they found a land of goblin supremacy. The town guards demanded that all “lesser’s” weapons be left at the gate and all aura discharged. The adventurers obeyed and met many strange shopkeepers and their companions, one of which was a dwarf chained to his forge at the Commoner’s Guild there. This dwarf gave them valuable information which they then somehow used to gain the gem away from the mighty King Mog.

The next group, which included Guildmistress Natasha and Tarsis Goldenbeard, entered and found themselves in front of a ruined keep. Lizardmen then came out and attacked them. Suddenly a white light flashed before their eyes, and the castle was now in full splendor as a glorious keep. A human Sergeant named Williams came out greeted them and asked them to enter. Upon their travels inside the place, they kept shifting in and out of time between the original keep and the ruined one. Back and forth they went, defeating a monster twice that originally slaughtered the old inhabitants. Upon leaving, they realized that their involvement had led to the saving of the tower in this world such that the keep would never be a ruin again. The group made it out with a journal that told of K’dan’s soldiers’ weakness because of the gem curse: Bless, Greater Bless, and Remove Curse did considerable amounts of damage.

The next group to enter the rifting tower included Baron Kelial, Lord Jaret, Squire Olin, and Sheriff Dugal. They entered into a world of dinosaurs. This was apparent as several raptors found their scent and attacked. The creatures were dispatched and the adventurers continued down a crude path that led to a huge cave. Next up were acid spitting reptiles that nearly had the group crushed but again the heroes were victorious. They made their way into the cave and realized that something large lived inside. The party saw two of the biggest and ugliest dinosaurs they had ever seen. They Deathed one and Imprisoned the other. After searching through the nest of the giant lizards, they found what they were after: journal notes of the three elven mages of the tower of Dysillengia.

Then-Baron Konrad, Sir Algar, Lord Hanson, Lord Morlox and Azrael then went into a world where Chaos was the norm and Earth magic was illegal and forbidden. Undead nobles recited the Code of Chivalry and demanded justice and protection of their fellow undead while claiming that the Code required them to destroy all living. The Duke of this land wore one of the gems around his neck. It was obvious that the adventurers, powerful that they were, could not survive an attack upon an entire town full of undead, so they played it smart and accepted a mission from the Duke in exchange for the gem around his neck.

The next morning, Ator, Kalis, Talon, Robert Oakwood and friends entered into a land where Fangthorn had won the original battle of Ashbury. They were attacked and thrown into prison by the troll town guard upon entering the land. There they led a daring escape, recovered their weapons, stole from the treasury, and slayed Fangthorn, thus recovering the needed gem.

With all the gems in the hands of the town and the knowledge of how to defeat K’dan, the adventurers of Ashbury made ready and waited for the next assault by K’dan. Sure enough, K’dan’s Captain came into town with his letter but this time he came from a different direction and he seemed to be aware of his current situation. He also had his corporeal body intact. Apparently all of K’dan’s men were again solid!

K’Dan unleashed waves and waves of his men. It was noted that K’dan and many of his top warriors now appeared to be biata.

It was Ator and Sir Algar who eventually took down K’dan by successfully hitting him with at least one spell from each gem while the entire town helped to rout his forces. When K’dan died, they all died and disappeared, hopefully never to return again.

Jack the Bard returned later that day to Captain Derion’s Crypt where he was ready to engage the Captian in a game of chess to ease the doomed Captain’s boredom of the doomed Captain. To Jack’s surprise, he was greeted by Captain Derion and a very powerful Order Elemental who apparently works for The Registrar. The Captain explained that because of the town’s success, that he was allowed to return to his rightful resting in peace, which he had originally been prevented by K’dan’s curse. He thanked everyone and, then rifted away with the Order Elemental to find eternal rest.


A Weekend of Lies Exposes "Zombie Master"

As predicted, the so-called “Zombie Master” appeared to harass the good citizens of Ashbury last month for a weekend—but things were not exactly as they appeared, and it was not long before the scam was discovered.

A minion of the Zombie Master had appeared two weeks previously, saying “My master has the girl! Turn over the rings within two weeks or you shall feel his wrath!”

Sure enough, two weeks later, a huge amount of zombies entered the central city chanting about the rings. They were dispatched, but more kept coming. Finally, one of the human necromancers with them threw down his weapon and pled for mercy, saying he would lead the adventurers of Ashbury to the Zombie Master’s lair.

Sure enough, he led those who were interested to an abandoned farmhouse where the Zombie Master sat in a Circle of Power, surrounded by a number of undead. The adventurers were a bit taken aback, as there were none with great powers among them and no nobles to be found (although Squire Gabriel attempted to remedy that by constantly quoting the Code of Chivalry to everyone).

“You must return the rings to me!” said the human Zombie Master. He was interrupted by the Ashbans present, but he only replied “Shut up! I must reveal my master plan!”

True to his word, he told them about the rings. He spoke of how he needed the rings to place on his victim’s hands. His victim, a young woman named Katrina, was the “key” to increasing his power. “She is a child born with an unusual power,” the Zombie Master explained. “The seventh daughter of a seventh daughter. If the rings are placed upon her, it will unleash her power and will allow any ritual done with her in the circle to be done with 100% success, with no flaws, and usually with extra powers!”

Some could see a young woman behind a Ward in the barn, looking helpless, and blocked by a floating Death’s Head.

The adventurers were not swayed by the Zombie Master’s request that they join forces to gain the rings, and a fight ensued in which the Zombie Master was captured and the Ward key taken.

Squire Gabriel took out the Death’s Head with a few well placed spells, and Katrina was released. She confirmed the Zombie Master’s story about her powers, stating that the rings had been made for her when she was born but had been stolen many years ago. A nearby diary kept by the Zombie Master confirmed this and detailed his search for her over a period of years. She promised that if the rings were returned to her, she would help all when they needed rituals done.

As they walked back to town, Kilinir commented to a few of his friends that it seemed mighty unusual that Katrina seemed to have her full pyramid of spells even though she had no access to a spell book, but no one seemed to care too much.

Over the course of the next day and a half, the rings appeared in Ashbury in various ways:

The first ring was seen on the hands of a fey named Pel. Pel and some of her fey buddies appeared through a rift that suddenly opened near the river. They waltzed through town causing havoc. Pel claimed that she was here to “take over Ashbury with her minions” but they didn’t seem to do much more then get in people’s way.

Most were eventually killed, but being fey, they merely reformed on their own plane and jumped back through the rift. Pel was impervious to all attacks and merely laughed off anyone who tried to hurt her.

She did seem very concerned as to whether Lord Aloryn was in town and jumped whenever she saw anything that looked slightly like the Rod of Seven Rifts. This led some to question her “invulnerability” and the great power she claimed to have (but never seemed to use). They began to look for a way to close the fey rift, which would hopefully end the trail of quicklings, brownies, and other bothersome critters that were making life unbearable.

The fey were exceptionally bothersome to some of the local dark elves who cut them down whenever they appeared. This angered Pel who merely sent more after them.

Some adventures knew that a strange old woman named Baba Yaga who lived in a hut that walked had been seen in the area of Ashbury, so they sloshed through the swamp to search for her hut.

The hut was eventually found by a team of adventurers that included Eldermen the elf and the two dark elf brothers Talisar and Find’rth. After solving a riddle, they climbed to the entrance. Inside, they discovered that the hut seemed practically endless and larger than it looked on the outside. They fought a number of strange mud creatures that rose from the floor and the walls, and eventually discovered Baba Yaga in a side room behind a secret door.

Baba Yaga apologized for the mud creatures (“They always appear after a heavy rain”) and said she knew all about the rift (“I see everything outside of my Hut!”). She told them that if they closed the rift then Pel would become vulnerable to attack. This news made the dark elves’ eyes light up with pleasure.

Baba Yaga told them that she would help them close the rift, but she would ask for something in return—their voices! They would not be able to speak for about 24 hours, at the conclusion of which all six would have to say a series of apparently nonsense words that would close the rift. The spellcasters objected, but the strange old woman said that she would accept any six voices, so a few went back to town and brought back people who agreed to give up their voices for the cause. Among the Speechless were Brunya, Sam, and Trafalgar the half orcs, Zim the gypsy, and Nei-Zan the dark elf.

Pel, upon noticing six people in town unable to speak, figured out what was going on and spent most of her time after that attempting to kill those six people while apologizing to them for doing so. She apparently had some help from some Ashbury adventurers who claimed to be “Heroes of the Fey” and who later even turned over to her another of the rings!

A second ring was found in the possession of Uther, a guard in the Royal Army, who refused to part with it as it had been in his family for generations. He was eventually found dead on the field with his heart ripped out and his ring missing, and when awoke spoke of being attacked by fey. No one believed that story since fey do not rip out hearts, and the sarr in town became obvious suspects. Unfortunately, he was not able to get an antidote in time to cure his obvious Forget, so the murderer went unapprehended. However, observers have noted that Hobbes was the only sarr in possession of a ring when all were later gathered.

A third ring was held by a poor Bardic College student named Hector Songbringer. Hector is a distant relative of Oliver and Gwen-dolyn, but it is fairly obvious that he does not share in his family’s talents. He spent most of his time goofing off in the Dragon’s Flagon, getting drunk and gambling. At various times, he seemed to be working on a song that was due for a class project, but his heart didn’t seem to be in it.

He had heard that people were looking for a certain set of rings, and realizing that he had one, came to the Flagon promising to give the ring to anyone who could help him with his project. Destrin and Maximillian agreed to help and Hector thanked them profusely and went back to drinking and partying. The two eventually put together a serviceable song for him, and he rewarded them with the ring.

A fourth ring was worn by a fey named Sagitta the archer. Sagitta claimed to be “the greatest archer of all the Fae Realms.” When he’d heard that “primers” were on the other side of the rift, he simply felt he had to test his mettle against the best of their bowmen. When none could be found, he lost his temper and began firing randomly into crowds of Ashbans. Eventually a challenger was found, and a competition was held. Sagitta, for all his bragging, apparently was not that great of an archer and he lost the battle. Still, he acted honorably and handed over the ring as promised.

A fifth ring was held by a local farmer named Fanny who asked some local adventurers to help her. “Friggin’ fire ants infested my farm!” she said alliteratively. “Must find friends to free farm!” The adventurers, led by Quentari elf Arista Za’Reeal, were able to remove the fire ant scourge from the farm and were rewarded with the ring, although Fanny warned the adventurers that she had heard from her mother that the ring was “evil.”

Later that evening, a fellow calling himself “Slippery Jim” entered the Flagon and challenged all takers to a high staked poker game. Among the takers was local adventurer Kelemvor Morgenson. Slippery Jim did well for a while but then had a losing streak, and soon all of his money was gone off the table. Sighing heavily, he pulled out a piece of jewelry and asked if anyone would allow him to use that as a bet. His challengers eyes lit up as they recognized one of the rings! They all agreed, but Jim won the hand and kept the ring, producing a number of frustrating groans! It was not until late in the night when his luck again changed and he finally gave up the ring to Kel.

Two other rings were also found but the way in which they were recovered has not been made known.

Meanwhile, the Zombie Master had escaped from the jail and had turned his captors into undead. He immediately went back into hiding and sent out more undead into the central city, once again demanding the return of the rings. Katrina did her best in some of these large field battles, casting her Life spells on the fallen, but Syrus the sarr commented that he noticed that despite the fact that Katrina was wanted by the Zombie Master, not one of the undead had attempted to recapture her. In fact, others noted that the undead seemed to ignore her completely during the all of the undead battles that had occured since she was with them.

Further, she seemed very anxious to get those rings, more so than one would expect. She tried offering large sums of money to people who she had discovered possessed a ring, and even commented confidentially to Maximillian that she would be willing to hire assassins if that is what it took to get all of the rings.

Finally, on Sunday morning, Kel, who had the ring he had won from Slippery Jim, received a note from Katrina stating that she knew he had one of the rings and that she would like it back. She had cast a Life spell upon Kel earlier and wrote that returning the ring would help pay her back. Kel showed the note to a few others and people noticed that the handwriting was a perfect match for the Zombie Master’s diary!

Katrina was captured and questioned but refused to speak. Apparently, she had heard of the rings and had devised a plan to get them: Create a fictional “Zombie Master,” make up some ludicrous story about seventh daughters of seventh daughters, write up a silly diary full of “evil bad guy” clichés, appeal to people’s greed concerning ritual magic, and let the people of Ashbury do the work for her. Unfortunately for her, the adventurers of Ashbury saw through her lies.

However, it was getting too late to investigate this further, as it was almost time for the Speechless to go and close the fey rift. Sure enough, Pel and her “minions,” including Saggita, were there waiting. The battle lasted a very long time, especially since many adventurers became Charmed to the various fey and the fey also had their “Fey Champions” to help. One of these “champions,” a hobling named Werbey Batoose, was forced to resurrect during that battle although no one will admit to being the murderer.

The river banks near the rift were covered with bodies sleeping, paralyzed, or waiting to be healed when finally the citizens were able to gather all of the Speechless to recite the banishing words. (As an aside, these words became an item on the Hunt list two weeks later, but no one was able to produce them!)

As soon as the words were completed, the rift closed and Pel was surrounded and defeated before she could do much of anything.

Seven rings were then brought to Ilrick at the Mage’s Guild who tried to Identify them but told those present that all eight were needed for an Identfication as they were all parts of a greater whole. The eighth ring was held by someone who refused to turn it over, explaining that since the rings were probably evil, perhaps they should not be brought together.

Others started to agree. After all, many of the coincidences they had discovered over the course of that lie-filled weekend were the result of Katrina’s manipulation, but wasn’t it stretching credibility a bit too much that all eight rings should appear in the span of 36 hours all in the same general area, and two of them through a rift at that? Suppose the rings wanted to be placed together? Suppose the rings are sentient in some way?

We may never know.


White Lizardmen Attack

It was on the evening of the 16th of May when some wounded goblins came running up from the sewers of Ashbury being chased by what vaguely appeared to be white lizardmen. These white lizardmen, called “nojree” were apparently released from ages of seclusion in their long forgotten caverns when goblins from the Broken Kneecaps clan began to dig downwards in our sewers.

The next morning, three bullywogs, who have always been on friendly terms with Ashbury, came hopping into town explaining a problem they had. Their old king who had died just two years ago selfishly buried an artifact of great power with him. It is believed in the bullywog myths that a mighty blue frog-like creature comes to save them in their time of need. This creature, called “Nibbit” by the bullywogs, has not been seen since their king’s death and they felt it is because of the buried artifact.

The bullywogs had recently been pillaged by gnolls and trolls and other unfriendlies and Nibbit had been nowhere in sight. They asked the adventurers to go into the tomb of their old leader to find the artifact for them.

A band of adventurers led by Lord Hanson and Caleb went inside and found the Nibbit artifact which took the form of a large blue frog, and returned it to the bullywogs who thanked them.

The item summoned a human-sized blue frog with strange powers which later fought against the nojree. The nojree empreror managed to escape a final confrontation, but the threat seems to have abated for now.


Ritual News

In a startling announcement today from the Royal Academy, it appears the Earth ritual scroll Contact Earth/Obscure Earth and the Celestial ritual scroll Contact Other Plane has ceased to work. Researchers at the Academy had noticed this during routine casting of these rituals when proficient ritual casters discovered they could not even begin a ritual with either of these two scrolls. Even the old Earth ritual scroll Contact Earth ceased to function when researchers attempted to revert to this older form of ritual.

In a less startling albeit much more favorable announcement, the Royal Academy has been able to successfully create an Earth version of the once only Celestial ritual scroll Spirit Forge. This news was greeted with much excitement in the barbarian and biata communities.

Never formally announced but confirmed as factual by this reporter was the news that a recent breach of security at the Academy has allowed the closely monitored Earth ritual scroll Create Liche to be stolen from the Forbidden Rituals Archive room. There are no leads at this time, but it is strongly believed by those in the know that a group in Ashbury specializing in the sale of necromantic rituals and components managed to infiltrate the Academy and gain access to this room. A thorough investigation has already been launched and it is only a matter of time before the criminal is to be caught.

Unfortunately the loss of the powers of the Contact Earth ritual are preventing the investigation from reaching its usual speedy conclusion.


Forestwatch Wins Commoner's Tournament

The team of Forestwatch won the 4th annual Ashbury Commoner’s Tournament with 37 points, beating out The Sand Tigers with 34 points and the Misfits with 25.

The team consisted of four half orcs—Squire Olin, Sheriff Dugal, Sage and Thyme—as well as Findrago the gypsy. They won five of the eight events in the Tournament.

The Sand Tigers, led by Ator, started out strong by winning Colors, but Forestwatch quickly took first place when Dugal won the Spellcaster’s Battle and Olin won the Hero’s Battle.

The Archery competition was exciting and ended up as a draw between Dugal and Talen of the Sand Tigers that was eventually won by Talen in a run-off.

For entertainment, Forestwatch’s rendition of “Goldilocks and the Three Orcs” easily beat the Sand Tiger’s story and the Misfit’s jokes, but it may have been Findrago’s performance as the title character that made all the difference.

Unlike last year’s Commoner’s Tournament, these half orcs managed not to answer “sheep” to every riddle and so Forestwatch prevailed in that competition as well as in the team Combat.

Despite the efforts of Sage and Thyme, they were not as successful in the Hunt. “Our brains are too small,” complained Sage. Corbin of the Mage’s Guild managed to stir the Sand Tigers into a win by figuring out many of the hardest puzzles and providing for many of the superlatives, including the “Top Ten Phrases You Will Never Hear Shalizar Say” (The number one phrase was “I call upon the earth to...”).


Corner of Chivalry

People of Ashbury,

As a new Paladin to the land I would like to make a few comments.

For those new to the land, one of a the duties of a Paladin’s duty is to guard against abuses of power by those who hold titles in the Duchy. As such, any commoner may make an appointment with me to discuss perceived wrongs done them by a Noble. I can not trust anonymous letters or innuendos, but all should know that I give my word that I will hold all such discussions in confidence. No one should fear unjust reprisals.

I ask that His Grace and all Barons let me know as soon as possible who has sworn to them. I need to know who holds the title of Dame or Knight, as well as Lord or Lady. Additionally, as Squire Testing will commence immediately, I ask that all Nobles who has sworn in a Squire let me know who that Squire is, and how long they have been a Squire.

Know that I hold the Code of Chivalry no less dear than any previous Paladin, and that although interpretations may differ, dedication to the Code and the Law is essential to a Squire’s aspirations. As such, I will continue the recent tradition of requiring the Code of Chivalry to be memorized by those seeking Nobility.

Safe Travels All,

Sir Jaret Delair

Paladin of Ashbury

ForestWatch


Healer's Guild Report

The Ashbury Healer’s Guild is in possession of a number of Ritual scrolls that were ordered by townspeople during the tenure of Daphne Green. However, there are no records as to whom these scrolls belong to. If you are expecting a Ritual scroll that was never received, please come to the Guild to claim it. Be sure that you know the exact Ritual scroll that was ordered and be prepared to show proof of ownership.

Any Ritual scrolls not claimed by the end of June of 597 will be considered donations to the Guild and will not be released thereafter.

Guildmistress Natasha Ioki


Public Notices

by Sue D’Onym

I’m back again after a short absence. It seems the evil editor couldn’t afford to put out another page in the last paper, and so my contribution was cut!

Still, it was a small column. And do you know why? Well, I’ll tell you—because hardly anyone told me any good gossip! Now how am I supposed to keep you informed if you don’t keep me informed?

Disappointment with Duke Bryan hit an all time high recently among the commoners, primarily because they’re being slaughtered by lizardmen! The hard fought treaty between the lizards and the citizens has fallen apart, due largely to the new zoo the Trellhiem boys are setting up! Of course you have seen Lord Morlox and Caleb running around in their newest lizard leotards. . .They apparently reported this was done to protect against the power of Morganna. In any case the battle’s over—so when are they going to jettison the luggage?

The Duke has yet to make comment on this, and seems wary about doing anything with “Sir Monster” (a phrased coined by ex-Baron Tristan) and Caleb. It would be nice if the two simply would shed their skin before the rest of get us eaten. The Ducal lack of decision on this matter once again seems to indicate a policy of “nobles first, commoners second.”

Dame Kittery is still wanted in town by a lot of people who want to purify her blood since she Lorded Morlox in lizard form. Not that Morlox as a human may have been qualified (although no one knows anything about any testing) but what about all of the other candidates? The Duke apparently sent a letter to Dame Kittery about certain candidates but she either ignored it or never received it. (Perhaps it was eaten by a lizardman.) In any case, she has now resigned, perhaps just in time.

Her husband Sir Konrad meanwhile decided to also set off an explosive trap just as he was resigning his position by naming Sir Agnar as his heir. The birthing pains can be heard all over the Ash Forest, as Amani citizens, male and female alike, are giving birth to cows. A Kiergani Baron? Wouldn’t I like to be a fly on the wall at the next meeting of the Amani Council! With these two appointments by these retiring nobles, we are sure to see the resulting conflicts for years to come.

Now I don’t want anyone to think that I’m anti-noble. I’m anti-everyone! There are plenty of commoners who do outrageous things but they just don’t get as much attention when they do them.

Take the dark elf Alex. She proved that she had mastered the tongue of non-drae with as much proficiency as a sailor when she used words that are not reprintable here in her “impersonation” during the Tournament. She had earlier shown a tendency to the bawdy when she told a very off color joke during the Entertainment competition in which the butt of the joke was a Kiergani. Quentin looked aghast and whispered to Sir Agnar, who was judging this, “Does she know what race you are?” Agnar shook his head but smiled politely. It must have been coincidence that her team came in last.

The Riddles competition was a lot of fun but ended quickly since there were only three teams. After it was all over, Squire Yngvar walked in and, after being challenged, managed to answer all of the riddles except one by himself!

New Paladin Sir Jaret looked surprised when the Duke asked him to accept the position, but not as surprised as he did when he went into a “graveyard of the future” run by one of Ralifax’s minions. There he found a gravestone with his name and a date thousands of years away, which seems impossible for a human. A few weeks later, he died in a battle and at first it seemed that he had died permanently when suddenly his body reformed in the Guild. Coincidence? (On the other hand, does anyone know if the future date was in Evendarr reckoning or not?)

Two big weddings in May—and what a difference between them! Findrago the gypsy’s marriage to Anna was full of fun and ended with everyone lying on the Dragon’s Flagon floor in a big pile under the influence of a number of Intoxicants and Hallucinogens supplied by Zatarina. Congratulations are in order for Findrago’s three new gypsy daughters, born shortly after the ceremony. (But why did he name the first one Angelique?)

A few hours later, Kelsea and Hagen had a very somber biata wedding which led to a series of quiet discussions with a bunch of strange biata into most of the night. Baron Kelial tried to disrupt this “reception” by choosing that moment to charge Loki (who is rumored to actually be a gryphon) with Treason for something that happened before the founding of Ashbury. Things eventually calmed down and the serious discussions resumed.

Of course, the long discussions may have had something to do with certain members of Trellheim that were seen standing outside of the tavern—a theory that seems confirmed when they all yelled “Kill the biata!” during the final battle against General K’Dan. (Actually, the “Kill the biata” line was obviously meant as a joke, but let’s face it, there’s only one race that comes close to Stone Elves on the “lack of humor” scale—and it ain’t half orcs.)

By the way, Modi’s challenge to Hagen for “Honor Combat” over Hagen’s treaty with a group of trolls was met with mostly derisive laughter. “You have to have honor to have honor combat!” said one commentator. (Of course, we have already discussed Trellheim’s opinions of treaties with monsters.) Guildmistress Natasha then had a discussion with the dwarf and made him apologize. Apparently Modi didn’t realize that his sister Natasha had helped to write and negotiate the treaty. Hagen is still being roundly criticized by a number of nobles and citizens who weren’t there when they were needed, did not experience what Hagen experienced, yet are sure that they knew exactly what Hagen should have done in that situation.

A fey forced Shagen to do a battle and promised him powers if he won, and just when he was about to win Elbon tried to waylay her, thus ending the battle and the promise. Here’s the question: How many enemies did the hobling make that afternoon? Watch your back, Elbon!

Thanks go to Chip from the Healer’s Guild who managed to organize a number of groups to travel into a necromancer’s home and along the way gain the Poison Shield spell which is now available at the guild. Alchemists can take comfort in knowing at least that the spell can not be made into a potion.

Spring is definitely here so that means love is in the air! Squire Gabriel has been spending a lot of time following Ackerly McBain around, so much so that the poor woman had to ask him to leave her alone! Still, she seems impressed by the attention. Lithitar meanwhile seems to have given up on Anastasia and now spends his time chasing after Felice. We’ll see where this goes.

Well, that’s all for this issue. Be sure to let me know what’s going on in your neck of the woods. I will see you again next month, but until then, remember—If you can’t say something nice about someone, come sit by me.


Public Notices

FREE DETECT MAGICS cast at the Ashbury Mages’ Guild every hour on the half hour during Guild hours. (Listen for the bell.) Hours are noon - 6 pm and 8 pm - midnight. Also: Magic items identified, Ritual Components researched, scrolls bought and sold, Rituals cast.

THE ASHBURY HEALERS’ GUILD is accepting applications for membership. Stop by the Guild or send correspondence to make an appointment.

BODYGUARDS wanted and available. See Zatarina at the Dragon’s Flagon Friday nights. Inexperienced adventurers accepted; we will help get you training and help you organize.

CELESTIAL RITUAL CASTING at a reasonable price. Also, information bought and sold. See Dame Alyx at the Sage's Guild in the Five Lions Inn.

DWARF LOOKING FOR MITHRIL. Please let me know - Gilwing