April Fools Joke - 2014

Lurin

Duke
As always we are striving to provide the best possible service to our players and we understand that there are times where you would like to play a different character, to try out a different play style, or just have a little bit more power in the tank so to speak. Thus we are proud to announce our new character rental services!
Here is how it works, we have a stable of well developed NPC characters that have been built up legally in the alliance system that you may rent out for a small additional fee, a portion of this fee goes to the NPC renting out their character and a portion is kept by the chapter, each character will have it's own rental fee, as set by the NPC or Even PC that wishes to rent their character out. A full list of characters may be obtained by requesting it at logistics, but here is an example listing of one of the characters currently available! (Please note that damage deposits are required, and this may be paid in case or just have a credit card on file for the purpose of covering any fees incurred while playing)

Any loot, items or gold earned on a rental character during play may be transferred to your personal PC at no additional cost, however included rental items such as magic items may not be transferred.

Example Rental Character (Provided by a PC)

Character List for - Durl ShellShield
Race - Turtlekin
Class - Earth Templar
Level - 25
Skills - 10x Resist Binding, 10x Resist Elements, 4 Profs with defensives only, 6 Level 1s - 1 Level 6 Earth magic pyramid.
Magic items of note - Magic Shell Shield (3x Cloak E-force, spirit locked), Magic Left sock - 2x cure wounds, 1x Life, Magic Right Sock - 2x Cure Wounds Coak Death, Magic Cure Light wounds storage bottle (Currently holds 793 charges of cure light wounds, must be poured as per a potion, may be filled with either Cure light wounds spells or potions).
Reputation - Good
Known Enemies - None

Fee Chart, For Durl Shellshield.

Rental Fee - $75 per Event plus $250 refundabe damage deposit
Magic item damage fee - $20 per item DFM'd or Lost
Resurrection fee - $50 per death recieved on card
Permanent Death Fee - $250 (please note, if you pay the permanent death fee, you do not have to pay any other 'damage' based fees)

We will be adding a new column to pre-registration for those wishing to rent a chacter for upcoming events.
 
What a steal! What a deal!
 
Dave, you should be more honest with the example Durl's card. We all know that every character you play ends up with some pretty stupidly powerful enemies. Let's be clear - Dave's characters are made to be hunted UNTIL DEATH. Really, I think this is just a money-making scheme for you so you can get your characters permed and make money doing so, now that you've incited such incredible antipathy in all the chapters you travel to!

I mean, look at your visits to Seattle and Oregon. I can't think of a single character that you *HAVEN'T* pissed off. Everyone wants to perm you - your characters are just so full of meanness and anger and unbridled rage! Jehyu in particular. That's one cruel, cruel rabbit.

It's all about those lucky, lucky rabbit's feet....

-Bryan

we love you dave! you actually play the nicest characters ever! :D
 
I've been working on this one for a while and can finally pull it off now that SoMN announced the Character Rental...

I'm offering up my own personal services for hire! Rent a PC!

Did you want a personal bodyguard for a weekend? How about someone in your backstory to tag along? Didn't you always wish you had a side kick or the ever valuable 'vacuum attachment' for your construct or team?

Now you can rent one! For the low price of $100 (plus event fee, travel and board), you can have your very own friend to join you IG! Here's what you get for your money...

-Customized PC sidekick - write my backstory however you like and I'll memorize it and follow you around! Thanks for saving my life from those bandits, pal!
-Personal Loot Magnet - Don't have time to loot your kills? I do! And everything that's mine is yours, friend! I didn't want that Permanence Catalyst anyway!
-Security Personnel- Don't want/can't afford/aren't able to sleep in a ward? Who needs one?! I'll stay awake and stand watch while you rest! I'll throw myself in front of the Obliterates that were meant for you! You won't go down unless I die first!
-Matching Costuming - with a few weeks notice and a picture of your PC, we can wear matching outfits! We'll be stylish together!
-Bargaining Chip - Did the big bad take your MacGuffin? Trade me for it! It's cool, I'll do anything for you buddy!
-Take it to the Grave - Did you feel a little....chaosy this morning? I won't tell! I know nothing and for a fee ($1 per level of spell) I'll know even less.

Housetrained, foresttrained, taverntrained, up to date on all my shots (Vampirism, Lycanthropy, Undeath, Redeath, and Murkling), void-proof and well-versed in everything from the forbidden art of "The Barehand Chaos Tornado" to the "2 Handed Dragon Twister" and all the way to the "5 Point Pierce Exploding Archer Technique".

I even julienne fries!

PM me soon as the schedule will fill up fast!
 
*facepalms while looking at the date*

I hate you all. I hate you with all of my love.
 
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