Axes of Evil 17: Without Silver

Mike Ventrella

Mike Ventrella

Duke
"The Axes of Evil" will be published by Double Dragon in early 2010 and will be available as a paperback, an e-book, or through Amazon's kindle. Because of contractual obligations, I have had to remove the early draft from this Bulletin Board. Thanks for the comments everyone!
 
roycifer said:
Just a quick suggested edit:

“No,” Boot replied. “Because they wanted to be chieftan.” Seeing my confused look, he continued. “Who defeats the chieftan takes the axe and becomes chieftan.”

"He who defeats..."
Click to expand...

Hey a comment! Thanks Roy, I appreciate it. I can tell people are reading but no one is commenting. :(

I try not to make the barbarians talk too well, but at the same time they have to be understood....

After re-reading that last chapter I also want to go back and make the battle more exciting. Terin is not really in much danger, and he needs to be. But that will come with the second draft, since I'm just trying to get though the thing now...
 
"surprised at how light and easy the axe had been to use, almost as if the sword itself knew the most vulnerable location to hit"

shouldn't that be axe not sword
 
Thanks for reading and commenting! I really appreciate it and it helps spur me on to keep writing; as it is, I will go weeks sometimes before trying to work on the next chapter, and that's bad (but also I'm just busy)

Like I said, this is draft #1. I appreciate people pointing these mistakes out, but really, the most important feedback I can get right now are more content oriented: Is the plot moving smoothly? Are the characters acting the way they should? Are you interested in knowing what happens next? Have you figured out stuff earlier than you should? That sort of thing...
 
It almost feels like Terin should be smacking himself in the forehead on that last line. Nicely done. :)
 
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