***New*** Utah Roleplay Negotiation and Consent Policy

p.richard

Scholar
Owner
Utah Staff
Alliance LARP Utah Roleplay Negotiation Policy V1.0

The players are more important than the game. At NO time should any player ever be asked to subsume their OOG boundaries to serve their character’s IG motivation or verisimilitude. Telling a player that declining physical contact or romantic content is “bad roleplay” or “not what their character would really do” is harassment, and may be grounds for suspension or banning.

Physical Roleplay
Current policy:

If player 1 wants to engage in physical contact with player 2 outside of combat (physical contact except with a weapon is expressly forbidden in combat), they briefly go out of game by placing a hand on their head and ask “Do you consent to physical roleplay?” Player 2 will then also place a hand on their head and answer “Yes” or “No”. In some situations, this player may ask for clarification, or state boundaries, but the format does not invite them to do so, nor indicate to an unexperienced player what their options are.

Problems that can arise:
Without clarity, Player 2 may consent to physical contact anticipating a level with which they are comfortable (a hug), only to then receive a level of physical contact with which they are not comfortable (a kiss). This puts the player in the uncomfortable position of having been subjected to uncomfortable physical contact while feeling like they “agreed to it”. The current physical RP consent functions most often as a sort of blank check, and is therefore vulnerable to intentional or unintentional abuse.

Proposed new policy:
If Player 1 wants to engage in physical roleplay with Player 2 outside of combat (physical contact except with a weapon remains expressly forbidden in combat), they briefly go out of game by placing a hand on their head and expressly requesting the specific physical interaction they are seeking, ie: “Physical roleplay negotiation: May I kiss you?” Player two now has numerous options, because this is stated to be a negotiation.

Options may include:
“No, thank you”
“No, but you may hug me, if you would like.”
“I am not comfortable with a kiss, but my character would be, so I am comfortable simulating a kiss, or simply saying that they did without completing the action out of game.”
“Yes, I am comfortable with a brief, closed-mouth kiss”
“Yes, I am comfortable with a lingering, open-mouth kiss”

There is absolutely no room for debate in a physical roleplay negotiation. If a player declines a physical interaction, they do not owe an explanation for why, nor should you ever make an effort to talk them into it. OOG boundaries are not subject to either IG or OOG pressure.

Some players may set up long-standing consent agreements with people they know well, that follow boundaries that are familiar to them due to OOG boundary agreements. This is fine, but those agreements are always subject to cancellation on either person’s end, and no player should ever attempt physical roleplay with a new player or someone they do not have established boundaries with without expressly requesting consent.

Additionally, no individual physical roleplay negotiation should be interpreted as the setting of an ongoing consent agreement. The consent is on a case-by-case basis, meaning that if the player consents to being hugged once, you must still obtain fresh consent the next time you want to hug them. If you want an ongoing physical roleplay agreement with another player, you must specifically request that, and negotiate it clearly. If at any point they wish to terminate that agreement, they may do so, and are not required to provide an IG or OOG explanation.

At any point physical contact with the intent to cause real bodily harm is not allowed in any form, with or without consent. Reckless contact is also disallowed, if a reasonable person is likely to conclude taking an action is likely to cause real injury, even by accident, you shouldn't do it.

Romantic Roleplay
Current policy:

Any player may engage in romantic roleplay with any other player without restriction. The pursuit is presumed to be entirely in-game unless there is strong evidence of metagaming, which is not explicitly against the rules. If the recipient of this attention rejects the advance, that rejection is also presumed to be in-game unless expressly stated otherwise. If a player is uncomfortable with an In-Game romantic attachment or pursuit, mutual or otherwise, it is incumbent upon that player to have a conversation with the other player to find a way to resolve this. They might approach plot or administration for help resolving the issue, but there is no official policy or encouragement in place for this.

Problems that can arise:
The line between in-game and out-of-game attraction is blurry on both sides. New players in particular may feel social pressure to “play along” with romantic roleplay in order to fit in, or because they are assured that the pursuit is solely in-game. This opens the door to serious issues with harassment in-game. Players should have the reasonable expectation that their character, like themself, will not be objectified, harassed, or pursued without their consent.

Proposed new policy:
If player 1 wishes to engage in roleplay of physical or romantic attraction to player 2, they briefly go out of game by placing a hand on their head and stating “Roleplay negotiation”, followed by the specific form of attraction that they wish to roleplay going forward. Ie:
“Roleplay negotiation; do you consent to my character having a romantic crush on yours?”

Player two now has a number of options, including:
“No, thank you.”
“Yes, and I may reciprocate the crush, if that is acceptable.”
“Yes, but if you choose to do so the crush will be entirely unreciprocated”

Note that romantic roleplay consent does NOT grant physical roleplay consent unless explicitly stated. A romantic roleplay negotiation that does include physical roleplay negotiation might read as follows:

Player 1: “Roleplay negotiation, do you consent to my character feeling romantic attraction to yours?”
Player 2: “Yes, and my character will likely reciprocate, but only briefly before losing interest”
Player 1: “Are you comfortable with physical roleplay expressed as hand holding, cuddling, and/or kissing?”
Player 2: “Kissing is unacceptable for me, but hand holding and cuddling are fine.”
Player 1: “Okay!”

The requirement for consent does include situations in which your character is under love or love 9 spell effects. The expectation is that you will include a brief negotiation of what form the attraction will take. A Love negotiation might look like this:

Player 1: Roleplay negotiation: I am under a 10 minute love effect. Do you consent to that taking the form of passionate sexual attraction?
Player 2: I am not comfortable with that; could you walk it back to a shy crush?
Player 1: Yes, thanks.

If you have taken a love effect to a character whose player is entirely uncomfortable with romantic roleplay from your character, use steering to redirect the effect to another player, ie “Whoops, guess I was looking 6 inches to your left!” and renegotiate. These are roleplay effects, intended largely for fun, and playing them to the letter is less important than respecting the comfort of your fellow players.

BOTH physical roleplay and romantic roleplay consent can be revoked by any player, at any time, and must be respected. The player is expected to use whatever steering is necessary to cease the connection. Phrases like “I suppose we just grew apart” and “Things just changed!” may be helpful here. Please remember that while the roleplay being negotiated is in game, the negotiation is entirely out of game. This means that if you request consent to express romantic interest in a character, and the player declines during negotiation, your character has not been rejected in game. Rather, your character has never felt an attraction to the other person’s. Thus, playing “the scorned lover” in this situation is inappropriate, and may be viewed as in-game retaliation for an out-of-game rebuff, and harassment.

If any player feels at any time that their right to roleplay consent is not being respected (if a player engages in unwelcome physical roleplay without requesting consent, for instance, or after consent has been revoked), this is an addressable concern, and should be brought to staff attention. I am personally of the opinion that there should be multiple staff members available to discuss this, at least one of each gender, to make sure that people are comfortable bringing the topic to staff, and that in the unlikely case that they problem exists with one of the designated staff members, they still feel like they can safely talk to someone about it.

Please remember that while the roleplay being negotiated is in game, the negotiation is entirely out of game. This means that if you request consent to express romantic interest in a character, and the player declines during negotiation, your character has not been rejected in game. Rather, your character has never felt an attraction to the other person’s. Thus, playing “the scorned lover” in this situation is inappropriate, and may be viewed as in-game retaliation for an out-of-game rebuff, and harassment.

If you feel that someone has not respected your stated boundaries on physical or romantic roleplay, or that you are experiencing harassment, please feel free to approach a staff member and discuss it. If for any reason you don’t feel comfortable taking it to a staff member, you’re also welcome to talk to me about it, and I’ll move it forward with staff.
 

Fredrick Z

Newbie
Hello Everyone! Our new consent policy is now available. It is an expansion of the old one with definitions. If there are any questions, comments or clarifications, please reach out to myself or a trusted staff member.

Alliance LARP Consent Policy v1.o

Every attendee has the right to feel physically and emotionally safe at events. All persons are responsible for making this environment safe. If for any reason you do not feel safe, please let someone, preferably staff know. If we know then we can help. You are welcome to reach out to us after events if you are unable to address it at the time. Players will not be reprehended IG (In Game) for taking time OOG (Out of Game).
We take people’s safety and consent seriously. At NO time should any player ever be asked to subsume their OOG boundaries to serve their character’s IG motivation or verisimilitude. It is of our utmost concern that everyone feels respected. We feel that with this respect of boundaries people can have maximum entertainment. In the long term, respect can form trust and with trust we can go farther together, if wanted.
As defined by us, consent means that people know what they are getting into and they are excited to participate the entire time it is occurring. Consent can be withdrawn at any time, for any or no reason.

Consent-Fully informed, enthusiastic, continuous, agreement to an activity.

We strive for an environment where; people’s autonomy will not be challenged and all people feel the safety of having the option to opt in or out of a scenario.

What is not allowed OOG:

Unwanted touching - Touching someone's body or possessions without prior permission. Examples: Playing with a stranger's hair or grabbing someone's prop.
Coercion -the practice of persuading someone to do something by using force or threats - Example: "If you don't _____, then I will _____."
Disregarding Boundaries - Doing something after being explicitly told that it is not acceptable - Example: Kissing someone after they say they don't like kissing.
Gas lighting - to manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity - Example: "That's not what happened at all. I'm not sure why you've created this narrative in your head."
Psychological Manipulation - a type of social influence that aims to change the behavior or perception of others through abusive, deceptive, or underhanded tactics.
Emotional manipulation - Similar to psychological manipulation, this tactic provokes guilt, love, and other emotional attachments to change another's behavior.

If people are seen or reported as violating consent actions will be taken to correct the behavior or punishment up to being banned.

If folks would like to negotiate and consent to any of these actions strictly IG, that is fine. If assistance negotiating is needed please ask a Consent Marshall, we are more than willing to help.

Consent is on a case-by-case basis, you must obtain fresh consent every time. Long standing negotiations are allowed and checking in are encouraged. If at any point you or the other party wish to terminate the agreement, you and the other party can do so. Explanations are a courtesy and not mandatory.

Negotiation:

To improve the play of all persons involved, we highly encourage negation both before and during game. If you wish to do physical, romantic or any emotionally intense role play, briefly go out of game by placing a hand on your head and asking for consent. Please include decent detail so that the other party may be fully informed. Please remember that OOG boundaries are not subject to either IG or OOG pressure or consequences.

Physical Role Play Example:

If Player 1 wants to engage in physical roleplay with Player 2 outside of combat (physical contact except with a weapon remains expressly forbidden in combat), they briefly go out of game by placing a hand on their head and expressly requesting the specific physical interaction they are seeking, i.e.: “Physical role play negotiation: May I kiss you?” Player two now has numerous options, because this is stated to be a negotiation.

Options may include:
“No”
“No, I can do a hug though.”
“I am not comfortable with a kiss, but my character would be, so I am comfortable simulating a kiss, or simply saying that they did without completing the action.”
“Yes, I am comfortable with a brief, closed-mouth kiss”
“Yes, I am comfortable with a lingering, open-mouth kiss”

At any point physical contact with the intent to cause bodily harm is not allowed.

Romantic Role Play Example:

If player 1 wishes to engage in role play of physical or romantic attraction to player 2, they briefly go out of game by placing a hand on their head and stating “Roleplay negotiation”, followed by the specific form of attraction that they wish to roleplay going forward. i.e.:

“Roleplay negotiation; do you consent to my character having a romantic crush on yours?”

Player two now has a number of options, including:
“No, thank you.”
“Yes, and I may reciprocate the crush, if that is acceptable.”
“Yes, but if you choose to do so the crush will be entirely un-reciprocated”

Note that romantic roleplay consent does NOT grant physical roleplay consent unless explicitly stated. A romantic role play negotiation that does include physical role play negotiation might read as follows:

Player 1: “Roleplay negotiation, do you consent to my character feeling romantic attraction to yours?”
Player 2: “Yes, and my character will likely reciprocate, but only briefly before losing interest”
Player 1: “Are you comfortable with physical roleplay expressed as hand holding, cuddling, and/or kissing?”
Player 2: “Kissing is unacceptable for me, but hand holding and cuddling are fine.”
Player 1: “Okay!”

Please remember that while the roleplay being negotiated is in game, the negotiation is entirely out of game. This means that if your request consent to express romantic interest in a character, and the player declines during negotiation, your character has not been rejected in game. Rather, your character has never felt an attraction to the other person’s. Thus, playing “the scorned lover” in this situation is inappropriate, and may be viewed as in-game retaliation for an out-of-game rebuff, and harassment.
If any player feels at any time that their consent is not being respected (if a player engages in unwelcome physical roleplay without requesting consent, for instance, or after consent has been revoked) or is experiencing retaliation, this is an addressable concern, and should be brought to staff attention.

Written by: Caelyn Leigh
Edited for Alliance by: Kandrie Mylroie
 

Attachments

Top