Computer geek wanted

My laptop has crashed in such a way that all I get is a black screen ... it doesn't even load anything. This is Heidi's connection to the world, because she can sit on the sofa with her arm in her machine and get online and say hi to everyone. Anyone in the HQ area willing to look at it? I will pay a reasonable sum to fix it (or Heidi will make you a costume shirt or something!) Please contact me: michael.ventrella@gmail.com
 
See if you have a bad battery. Take out the battery and run it from AC power, even if you were running it from AC power before. Malfunctioning batteries can cause all kinds of odd behavior in a laptop, including what you're (mostly) describing.
 
It could also be a failed LCD backlighting. (Just use a flashlight held against screen to confirm the LCD is working but not the backlight.)
 
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