On the Topic of Weddings in the Barony of Tiatar

[SorinKatt]

From: A Brief Treatise of the Tiatarn Wedding Customs


“In ages past, it was considered Fortuitous to sit close to the bride and groom on the day of their wedding. Fate, it was believed smiled upon the couple on such a momentous day and the thought was, that sitting near would allow some of that good fortune to rub off on those fortunate enough to be in proximity.


In a more practical sense sitting close to a couple, especially in more lavish events would often provide the lucky person with opportunities both business and socially that might not otherwise be afforded and therefore the seats close to the wedding party were often considered coveted. So much so, in point of fact, that tradition arose over time to bribe the Captain of the Honor Guard, who, in traditional Tiatarin weddings is responsible for seating and the smooth running of the event, for a seat closer to the Wedding party.


As we have cultured and tempered over the years the tradition of bribing for a closer seat, or `Paying the Shift` as it was often referred to in more frank circles, has moved away from a practice of enriching the Captain of the Honor guard to a more accepted tradition of charity.

Among more common weddings, but those big enough to traditionally merit a Paying of the Shift the money would be given to the Bride and Groom to help set up their new life together. In the case of more Aristocratic and Noble weddings the proceeds of the Shift are traditionally donated in the couples name to a worthy charity.


By tradition when a person has been unseated by a Shift, the Honor Guard Captain will approach the person so unseated (Assuming that the bribe meets the standard to unseat someone of that rank or previous shift) and state ‘[Honorific], you have been shifted by necessity.’ The person so shifted is obligated to comply politely or reply with the statement ‘This seat suits me, perhaps I can compel you to allow me to remain’ They may make a single offer of shift and if it is more than that being offered by the person requesting the shift, than the original payment is returned and the seat retained. It is considered the highest of impropriety to attempt to shift more than once at a reception.”

Argus Dumur

Historian, Three Spires​

 

[SorinKatt]

First Standard of the Groom

Often called the `Best Man` in other cultures. His (Or more recently in Tiataran Tradition equally her) responsibilities are many.

• Planning of the Grooms Wyld Night, a tradition where those that have known the groom gather to tell stories, engage in frivolous behavior and usually drink heavily. It is traditionally ended with a Wild run through town where any one encountered might be given a drink and asked to join, or pranked.
  
  
• Insuring that the Groom survives the Wyld Night and is ready for the Sobering event in the morn.
  
  
• Standing Silent Vigal with the Groom the night before the Wyld Night. It is tradition that only the First Standard and the Groom stand this vigil and what is spoken of that night is a bonding secret between them. Traditionally though the talk is of the Grooms future and plans.
  
  
• Presenting the Grooms Wedding Toast
  
  
• Insuring that the Ring is properly Guarded by the Promise Bearer.
  

Grooms Standard Bearers

Often referred to as Groomsmen in other traditions. The Standards are responsible for insuring the Grooms honor and Virtue during the Wyld Night and insuring that his last night of `freedom` is an enjoyable and carefree one. They will traditionally speak of a single virtue of the groom after the First Standard finishes his or her speech.

• Guard the Vigal so that is not disturbed, but remain outside where it is being stood
  
  
• Stand at the Grooms side to see him into his life to be.
  
  
• Speak a single virtue of the Groom after the First Standard Speech.
  

First Flower of the Bride

The first Flower fills many of the same Roles as the First Standard, though a proper wedding dispenses with the Wyld Night for the Brides Parties. In some provinces though a party of sorts is often held for the Bride ending with a candle lit walk through the town often after the Wyld night in a symbolic gesture to calm the town after the grooms passing to prepare for the somber event the following day.

• Lead the Candle Walk from the Brides home to the site of the Ceremony and back.
  
  
• Sit Vigil at the Brides bedside while she sleeps, it is important for the Bride to look rested and vital on the day of her wedding. This tradition is often forgone in all but the most Traditional weddings.
  
  
• Present the Bride's Toast after the Groom's Toast and the speaking of virtues for the Groom.
  
  
• Insuring that the Ring is properly Guarded by the Promise Bearer.
  

The Brides Bouquet

Consisting of the First Flower and the Maidens of the vine. The Brides Bouquet are often referred to as Brides Maids in other traditions.

• Bring up the trail in the Candle vigil
  
  
• Speak a single virtue of the Bride after the First Flowers Speech.
  

The Promise Bearer

The Promise Bearer is the one who carries the ring in the Ceremony, but traditionally has a larger role. Traditionally in Tiatarin weddings, the ring represented a binding promise between the Groom and Bride and it was, in the distant past a ploy to swap the ring with one not provided by the groom. Doing so could be grounds to annul the wedding and call into question the honor of the couple. While the bond is seen as more representative in these more metropolitian times, it is none the less a solemn duty.

• Protect the Rings the night before the wedding after they are given to him or her by the First Standard and First Flower
  
  
• When asked (In a traditional Tiataran Ceremony) if the rings are honorable and True, to reply “Yes, by my own hand and word, they are true” in the past this statement has held much more weight and consequence if it’s found not to be than in the current day.
  

Bearer of Flowers

The Bearer of flowers represents the language of love in Tiatar and will traditionally present a blossom meaningful to the Bride to each guest seated in a reserved spot at the wedding.


Captain of the Honor Guard

Traditionally the Captain and his Honor Guard are the only ones armed at a Tiatarin Wedding. Carrying arms is considered a grave offence to the Bride and Groom, a show of Distrust. This tradition has been set aside in cases where the wedding is held in a dangerous part of Acarthia, or during war time.

• See to the smooth running of the Wedding and reception, this includes insuring that anyone of station is properly seated or addressing any unexpected and noble guests needs.
  
  
• Accept the `Shift` on the Bride and Grooms Behalf and see to the changed seating while still maintaining the head table and the position of any high nobles.
  
  
• Stand Ready to Defend the honor of the Bride or Groom who are traditionally unarmed during the event, upto accepting challenges of honor on their behalf.
  

Usher

Ushers are responsible for orderly seating both at the Ceremony and Reception.

• Personally seat each guest that has a place denoted for them.
  
  
• Bring any issues to the Honor Guard Captain including any requests for a Shift.
  
  
• Traditionally recruited by the Captain of the Honor Guard