Random philosophies about the NERO world.

jpariury

jpariury

Duke
There is a certain level of tongue-in-cheek humour intended here. I invite anyone else to add to the list, this isn't meant as simply a grandstanding whinefest.

Elves Are Stupid

Elves are monumentally stupid. Don't get me wrong. Biata, MWEs, Dwarves, and just about any other "ancient/long-lived/whatever" race are too. I mean, come on, it took you 200 years to learn how to fight with a sword, read, write, and cast 3 spells a day? Low-level spells at that! Humans, by comparison, manage the same feat to as early as within 15 years. What happened with the elves? Are they developmentally-challenged? Do they suffer from "Elven Alzheimer's"?

Not to mention, either sterility runs high in the Elven Kingdoms, or they just aren't have as much fun with the whole "boy-people/girl-people" thing. How can a race of ancient peoples NOT overrun the planet? MWEs must definitely run into that problem. Oh wait, that's right, they're stupid. Must run into some high infant mortality rates.

Chaos, the great Equivocation or EARTH GOOD!!!! NAPST... uhm, CHAOS BAD!!!!

I rarely have seen so much equivocation as I do on the word "chaos" (except, possibly, the word "noble"). There seems to be this general idea that so long as you use ANY of the myriad definitions of the word "chaos" to define something, you suddenly made it bad (by virtue of the illegality of necromancy). When people talk about "earth magic", I don't see anyone suddenly digging in the dirt and slapping mudpacks on people. Why do we suddenly hear screaming about "You're confusing me!!!" "Confusion!!! CHAOS!!! NECROMANCER!!! KILL IT!!!" Probably helps keep the mortality rates high amongst the long-lived races, I dunno.

Guard Well Thy Toe, For It Is Thy Life's Blood

You may not have realized this, but every body (not everybody... every body), human or otherwise, has a nerve in their toes that controls their ability to hold onto things. Its true!!! The other day, I wanted to knock this guy's sword out of his hand, and so I stabbed him in the toe, and he dropped it. (The sword, not his toe. Yeesh.) In fact, the toe is your absolute life center. I once saw a friend of mine deliver a fatal blow through the toe. In fact, too few people wear steel-toed boots on their feet, elves in particular, which, again, accounts for their apparently high "infant" mortality rates. I'm sure some elf thought about putting heavy metal booties on their children to improve their chances of survival, but he probably stubbed his toe on the way to the cooper and died of a massive hemorrage of the brain.
 
lol.. that was so funny.. and what a good point about elves ^_^
 
So uh, on the earth chaos stupidity thing perhaps someone explains very slowly why tainting someones blood is cause for the whole villagers after karloff thing whereas killing them outright in that "causes the spirit of any victim with a metabolism to flee it's body." kinda fashion is shiny happy. Must be an elven rule.
 
Personally, I believe that the weapon trap rules take the cake.

Imagine this. Joe the Trapmaker sets the trigger for a weapon trap at the entrance to the tavern. The line then stretches all the way across the tavern through the kitchen doors, back out through the back kitchen door near the bathrooms, follows the trail through the forest out to the Meadow, spins around both Shikar's guildhall and the Gypsy cabin, continues around the back of Kauss' cabin, then extends across the desert to where the dagger finally lays inside the door of the barn. When poor Balryn opens the tavern door, this dagger launches itself and magically flies across the desert, through the forest and the meadow, up through the kitchen door, then across the tavern to strike the Gypsy in the heart, taking a number of 90 degree turns on the way.

I want one of them daggers!

-Bryan
 
Polare Lissenstine said:
I want one of them daggers!

-Bryan
Click to expand...
Now Brian the real question lays -

If I riposte that dagger... who the hell does it hit?

~Barry

 
Well, with the abilities of that dagger you would think it would act as a heat-seeking missile and track down the trap setter wherever they may be. If they're in a warded room, the dagger just goes up and starts hammering at the ward entrance in an ominous sort of way. Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam! The residents of the ward are too afraid to go out, for good reason -- there's a possessed dagger outside! They're trapped in the ward, yelling for help. Others come, but they can do nothing against the dagger. And still there is the noise as the dagger strikes relentlessly at the ward. Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam! Finally the trap setter can take the noise no longer! They recognize the dagger into the ward and...

Well, maybe that's a bit much for the riposte.

-Bryan
 
Screw the dagger, I want the string you used to trigger the trap with! That's like the world's longest and most powerful rubber band ever created! Think of the possibilities of Hobling-on-THAT-rope and the mischief I could wreak amongst the non-hobling non-rope-having populace. Hee hee!

Jeff
psyched as ever for this weekend
 
Keeping in mind that that particular scenario upends a large pile of refuse all over the spirit of the rules, I'd have to say I want both the rope and the dagger.
 
Adventurers are the unknown Masters-Of-It-All

Adventurers are the best at everything. They fight better, magic better, drink better, rule better, and really are in all ways superior to everyone else. Unfortunately, no one else but them seems to be aware of this fact. Peasant farmers complain when the adventurers pick their fields to make that last stand against Stanley the Necromancer. Pesky lawmakers and nobles expect them to follow the laws that they have foolishly tried to enact to govern their people. The adventurers know better, of course, and try to explain to these lesser peoples that they know what is best, but the poor creatures never learn...
 
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