"The Axes of Evil" is done!

Mike Ventrella

Mike Ventrella

Duke
Some of you are aware (especially since I mention it constantly) that I have a novel out that takes place in Ashbury called "Arch Enemies". I have been working on the sequel ("The Axes of Evil") for a year or more, because I could rarely find time.

Well, I finally finished it tonight, or at least the first draft (which takes the longest). Some of you have been reading and giving me comments and I really appreciate that. That's the purpose of this post -- to request more of you to do so.

I'm not looking for proofreaders or spell checkers as much as reader comments. Are the characters well developed? Does the plot move smoothly? Is something not explained well? What would you do to make it better?

A big warning: You don't have to have read Arch Enemies first, but if you haven't, reading this will ruin a lot of the plot twists and fun of Arch Enemies.

Please help me out here by giving your comments. The chapters are posted in the Fiction area here on the Bulletin Board for now, but when I submit this to my publisher, I'll have to remove them. You may have to go back a ways if you want to read chapter one....
 
Awesome!

Question: I was unable to find Arch Enemies at my local Barnes and Noble.

Where will these book be located to purchase besides on the Alliance main site?
 
kitsune85 said:
Awesome!

Question: I was unable to find Arch Enemies at my local Barnes and Noble.

Where will these book be located to purchase besides on the Alliance main site?
Click to expand...

They are from a small publisher so you have to ask your B&N to special order one for you, but they can do so. They have a computer at the store where you can look up books and you can find it there. You can also get it from Amazon.com.

I'm holding off sending "Axes of Evil" to my publisher while I try to find an agent and/or a bigger publisher. We shall see. Wish me luck!
 
If you find a publisher that specializes in fantasy novels, let me know since I am in the process of creating a fantasy series.

Good luck finding another publisher.
 
MINOR SPOILER ALERT - I allude to things in the book but do not define what they are.




I've read most of it (I think I didn't print out a chapter or two).

I think that the flow is good. It was a quick, enjoyable read. However, the overall book seemed a bit 'basic' to me. The only way for me to describe it, and please don't take offense in it, it felt like it was written for ages 8-15. I'm not sure how to change that - bigger words, more detail in descriptions or other such things perhaps. I could give some notes but I have found that when I do, I tend to start to bring my writing style into it which doesn't often mesh with others. To me, style is one of the important factors of a book.

As an Alliance player, I loved it because I knew about various things in the book and the storylines that happened at Ashbury. But as someone who hasn't played the game, it was a bit light.

Also, I would be curious to know what Terin's full sentence would have been at the climax of the book. "The only way to beat Ashbury is to..." What was he about to say that made him suddenly realize how to complete his goal?

I'm also curious about the final actions of their dwarf companion. It didn't seem like it was in character for him but then again, I don't think his greed was well enough established to have that action make sense. I also don't remember if there was a semi-wrapup with the goblins - as in it was told to the Duke what they were now doing and how to act on it.

Now, the overall plot is really great and the wrapup - between the barbarian's treasure and the reason for Terin's prophecy ridden life - was fantastic.
 
Thanks Mark!

Yes, indeed, I admit -- I am aiming for a young adult market. That's what is selling these days, and that's what the agents and publishers are looking for. I've been sending out my query letters saying that the books are in the vein of Harry Potter and Piers Anthony's Xanth books.

What I have done is rewrite Arch Enemies and split it into two books (because it was so big to begin with) and then this will be the third in the series. I just had an agent ask for a manuscript, which is more than I've gotten before, so wish me luck.

It also meant that I attempted to really push the plot along and get it all done within 60,000 words or so. While this keeps the action moving much faster than the first book(s), it also means that there is less description overall. It was a trade off admittedly, and I am anxious to see how what professional agent thinks. Maybe they'll make me rewrite the whole thing...

SPOILERS AGAIN

The dwarf was supposed to be a surprise, of course, but maybe I need to build up his self-greed a bit more; if you recall the last book, it kind of fits in.

As for Terin, he would have said "The only way to defeat Ashbury is to become part of it"...

I didn't want to slow down the ending with the explanation of the goblin stuff, but it will come back in the next book.

Thanks for the comment about the plot twists and explanations though -- that's the most fun to write, of course! The mysteries and surprises and twists and then making sure everything fits together tightly in the end like a jigsaw puzzle.
 
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