Fine, you want to get into this here? Let's do it.
First of all, that was not even remotely the reason the TOWN and I went into Jotunheim. The decision to go was not a unilateral one made by me to foolishly and selfishly try to bring back a permanently dead friend. I would not EVER risk the majority of the town for my own needs. You talk to anyone who used to reside in the Hollow and you will find that I have selflessly given up my life many times to save the inhabitants of the town. I even at one time offered to permanently give up my race, one thing I am more proud of than anything else, so that the goblins of the forest would not join the legions of Grimfang's army. The group of VOLUNTEERS and I went to Jotunheim to seek the Well of Wisdom. Yes Drak, every single person who stepped through that portal knew the risks that lay beyond. Before we left, I thanked each and every one of them for coming with me. We were presented with a once in a life time opportunity to learn the secrets to putting down the biggest threat to all vansir kind and in turn, the rest of the Fortannis including your home. Perhaps you can begin to see why I could not just turn around and leave once we were there. I even told your group of rescuers to head back and leave without me. I did not want to put further danger to the group.
You seem to think you know me and to judge me from the actions of one mistake. Yes, I admit it was a mistake to get angry when I found out my friend Tommy may have been trapped in Jotunheim because of me. I lashed out in anger. Not because I am some savage, selfish, heartless monster but because I knew I could not live with myself knowing I had potentially caused his death. You then proceeded to pummel me with arrows while I stood there and took them. You know why nobody moved to stop you, or why nobody went after you to punish you for your blatant crime. BECAUSE I TOLD THEM NOT TO. I understood why you did it and that you needed to unleash the anger you felt. I often times feel the same way. There was no cause to get anyone else involved.
Later that evening you are correct. Someone trailed a massive lizard mummy and some as***le undead into town. No manner of life spells or other battle magic could have stopped what quickly ensued. With the exception of a few who rushed into the woods, the entire town lay dead in the aftermath, including myself. I had to watch Trin'ea be eaten alive as my sword scraped harmlessly over the mummy's body. But if for a moment you think their deaths are on my hands, you are a fool. Considering me the sole party responsible for that is just ridiculous.
The thing you need to understand is that in the Hollow we did not defend or heal others to show the power we had over one another or meaningless gestures like that. We freely gave ourselves to each other because it was the right thing to do, regardless of our feelings. I forgot you are not from our lands. I took you for granted. I had just assumed I would have the full backing of the town in any decision I made, right or wrong. Even if it's too late now, I appreciate what you did for us and for me specifically. I apologize Drakonios.
I don't consider you a coward and likely never would. I had no intentions of brutalizing you or fighting you if you did not consent. I only meant to try to bridge the gap between us. I believe that's all I wanted to say. Take it as you will.