A Personal Apology

Gandian Ravenscroft

Gandian Ravenscroft

Knight
Chicago Staff
Marshal
Hey SoMN players,

This may seem a bit awkward and/or personal, but I feel like it would take a lot off my chest to tell this to the chapter community as a whole.

I'm sure it was no secret that I was really out of it this last weekend. In the last few months, several of my excessive number of personal issues (including depression, lack of self-esteem, high anxiety, paranoia, jealousy, illusions of grandeur, illusions of failure, fear of wrongdoing, yearning for approval, anger, stress, and more) have just been growing like crazy as my life has shifted and I've headed off to my first semester at college, and they culminated to a peak at the event. These problems are destructive not only to me, but to you all as well; I think that the way I was acting really took a toll on PCs and in NPC camp, and I want to apologize to you all. It really wasn't helping the event, and I am extremely sorry if the way I was acting put a damper on anyone's enjoyment.

This being said, the way I was acting this event really made me realize that I need to kick myself into gear, and for the foreseeable future, I will be working extensively on remedying my many issues. It'll be difficult, as these things always are, but I promise that the next time you see me at an event, I should be doing a bit better and I will make sure to provide the best game I can for the players. The goal is to reduce the impact of these problems on me to more manageable levels, and I will do my best to do a better job of monitoring myself.

If I ever seem like I'm losing it, feel free to let me know and I'll do my best to step back and regulate myself. Nobody should have to put up with me being a nightmare (unless I'm NPCing one of Teague's dream-themed mods, that is), and I don't want to put you through that anymore.

Sorry again, and I look forward to seeing you when I'm a better person next season,
~ Alexander
 
I second that no apology is necessary. Take the time you need and we'll all be here for you when you come back to welcome you with open arms. Hope to see you soon, buddy.

Josh
 
This is the great thing about larp... when you are upset with you're friends OOG... you can always take it out on them IG... :thumbsup: <- (this was meant in a lighthearted manner)

In all seriousness take care of yourself Alexander. We all like you and you are awesome! :) You have many many friends and don't forget it.
 
agreed no apology is needed, it happens to everyone once in awhile the trick i believe is to try to put everything into prospective. in doesn't always works but it does help.
David Raatz
 
No apology necessary. The game is a great stress reliever in and of itself. Take care of yourself. Look forward to seeing you next year.
 
Alexander, you have earned enough of my respect that you don't have to apologize for such!

In fact, :oops: I was feeling I should apologize to you (and everyone else) as well - as my own list of personal demons decidedly raised their ugly head in much the same fashion, and I belatedly had to acknowledge that my behavior was in all likelihood being a bit of drag on everyone else's enjoyment during the event. Hopefully, I will conquer :bang: my personal demons and be able to step up my game for better enjoyment all around!

~ Tim S.
 
Alexander, I think it is awesome that you are willing to admit you are having a hard time right now. I think we are more than just a LARP chapter here, we are a community. You have put lots of effort and time into this game, many people have. So remember that you have more than just a game over here, but a group of people who do care for your well-being! :thumbsup:

And I think we can all agree that it is okay to let out OOG frustrations IG. I am sure we are all guilty of this at some point in time. :sweat:

Don't forget to come hang out with people during the winter too. I know I for one get the winter-LARP-blues.

Love you guys!
 
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