Dear Iron Wolf aka Rusty Puppy

I would like to discuss the matter of the bothersome kidnapping of myself and two others.

Honestly I was unimpressed with the whole ordeal. If you’re going to waste my night, I expect at least something amusing or drinks to be served. I was primarily insulted at the lack of actual restraints. Rope? Really dear? And let's talk about those knots. It is okay to ask for help, you know? Go to almost any brothel, I am sure someone there can teach you to tie a proper knot.

Always. Search. Your. Captives. This is basic banditry sir, and frankly I expect better from you. You do not leave your captives barely restrained in an unguarded room without having searched them first. A toddler could have done that better. And you do not leave a captives weapons less than three feet from them. Which leads me to my next point.

Do not leave barrels of potential explosive materials near your captives that you have failed to restrain in any meaningful way, and have failed to search at all beyond a cursory glance. I mean really. This whole job was botched from the moment you captured us, though bravo on the capturing, that kid deserves a raise. He might be the smartest of you lot.

All in all, 0/10 kidnapping attempt. I expect you to learn from this and do better in the future.

Not mad, just thoroughly disappointed,

[OOC: Just so we are clear, I love each and every NPC that was involved, the mod was hilarious. Xoxo Brit]
*A drawing is added later that seems to indicate that a fox with a hat is happy to teach basic banditry lessons for a low low price...or maybe he's selling magic beans. Really unclear.*