Huh, they seem to work fine for me. I wonder if its a zip code thing. Here goes anyway. All these products can be found at Home Depot or the hardware store of your choice (provided they sell paint).
PVC Cement and Primer - Found smack in the middle of the plumbing section. Normally comes in 2 cans in a small box.
5 Minute Expoxy - Found in the paint section where they have most adhesives. Most Home Depots have this section right next to where the spray paint is sold.
Plastic Putty - Also found in the paint section, normally right next to the 5 minuite epoxy. Comes in a clear cylinder. There are a variety of this kind of product. Some are for metal, some are for working near water. Find the one that lists all the materials that you will be working with.
--Chazz