Marriage Rites

M

Marcena

Duke
I were wondering about dhe marriage rites of various culture, particularly elven culture. How one should go about proposing marriage to one, how dhe cermonies work and all dhat. Any information here would be very much appreciated.

May Fortune And Love Find You Where'er,

~Marcena Cenkraea "The Dove" Idumea Dagon
 
For Caldarian Biata, marrage is as much an internal matter of love, as it is a political matter for the two families involved. There are complex social rules and a lot of family negotiations before a couple can be wed. The largest concern is who will "loose" a family member, and who will "gain". Both families must concent, and to rush things or "elope" would be a grave insult to everyone involved.

The cerimonies themselves are large becasue my people tend to have very large families. We live long enough for five or six generations of family to be present easily. We take marrage very seriously becasue we are willingly changing our family make up, and familiy is very very important.

Dispite the politics and family concerns, my wedding was the happiest day of my life. It was a beautiful day, and the Landcharmer and Valcerie families were in full attendance. There was music and dancing, heart felt speaches and tears of joy. There was the finest fudge you can immagine served. Both families worked very hard to see that day off as once to remember for the centuries to come. The more afluent the families involved, the more grandouse these celebrations can become. Its a show of family power, of skill (cooking, entertaining), and of support.

Find me in Fairdale should you wish to know more, for now this dream is turning up memories I rather not think about.

Till the Full Moon is no more,
Amaranthus Landcharmer
 
Well, I can't speak to all the elves of the world, but the Amani have two joining traditions.

The first is referred to as handfasting, and lasts for one year and one day. It is usually very private, often something that the couple promises one another with no witnesses at all. At the end of the year the couple can choose to renew their vows or go their separate ways. Some couples will handfast for several years, often for a few spans.

Lifemating is more rare. Given that we live several centuries and people grow and change so much, it is a special occasion indeed when two elves decide that they would like to spend the rest of those long lives together. Usually they have handfasted for several spans before making this choice. There is only so much I can reveal, but there is a very sacred ceremony that the two perform, surrounded by close friends and family. Later on the festivities can last long into the night, with much food, music and celebration.
 
Ogress finds you, you fight. Ogress wins, decides you will father her cubs. You now married.
-Lorgwut
 
Toddo said:
Ogress finds you, you fight. Ogress wins, decides you will father her cubs. You now married.
-Lorgwut
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Dhis I hear a lot from many, many cultures. I could nye refute dhe effectiveness...but I do nye t'ink dhat it would get dhe results I am after! Thank you, much though. :)
 
Don't you want strong cubs?
-Lorgwut
 
I am a Romani woman, of course I shall bear strong "cubs"! Dhis is nye dhe question...dhere eez one I would like to bear dhem wit' and I were wondering how I should go about dhis. I jus' do nye t'ink dhat bonking him on dhe head would be dhe wisest course of action!
 
I sure dat wif as intuhwestin' as taking hits may be, izza norra good fur da hide.

Dodeeja twibes all has diffewent customs. Da elduhs say I norra supposed to know much 'bout it 'til I weedy. Apawentwee, pwe-mawwage rituals inna my cwan izza secwetive, somefin' intimate between jus' doze two, but somefin' so special, it last da west of dere wives.

Howeveh, da twee-cwimbuhs izza norra so sacwed. Over da course of dere wife, usuawee a woman faw in wove wit' multiple men. Dis usuawee verry twoublesome, what wit' dere bein' a fairly even amount of men to women, anna I don't fink dey wharra da headache of multiple wife partnuhs... annaway... Dey does some sorta ceremony where da woman gathuh up all her woved ones, an' she hands them a gift each. Iffa da man accept her gift, it mean he weedy fur da commitment. Doze dat don't accept, weave or watch, but norra wonguh pahticipate. At dat point, dey begin a wahnd-based foot wace, where da woman gets five second ahead. Da men den go to seek an' find. Dey say dat da one who find her first is wed by da stwand of fate anna stwong bond between dem, showing dat dey izza destined to be togethuh furevuh.

As fur da cave dwelluhs, I'm norra sure. Wike I said, dey cwazy, I onwee see dem sometimes. I heard diff'nt t'ing fwom diff'nt elduhs about dem, though. One tell me dat izza da male which initiate da t'ing, which I was shocked t'hear at da time. Apawentwee, dere very pweety stones in some caves, anna da male offuh one to da female azza sign of undying wove. Den... dey get mawwied, evvrat'ing ku, yah? Anothuh tol' me dat cave dwelluhs don't make wife-time commitments, but onwee ones dat wast a season. Dey is committed one season atta time, but can norra be two season inna woah, so alwayz bweak in between fur othuh partnuhs.

I know, we izza norra elves, but meebee izza norra about da witual wheely, but jus' about da intimacy between each othuh, yah? Meebee, iffa feel good enough togethuh, you ask him iffa dere a special way you go about it. Dat question awone could be da making of da bond itself, yah?

Wit' so manna cultuhs t' t'ink about, meebee wet it go furra bit anna ask as a female to a male wit' backwound unbound anna meebee it come out best. Juzza thought, but I young yet still, I he-ah.

-Warpfang
 
Ah, were I wiser, I would. Is jus' somet'ing I'm looking to know for later. Besides, eez interesting. Mebbe Lorgwut eez right! Mebbe I should jus' bonk him upside dhe head and see where it goes from dhere! :D

But should I ask, I would I could apply some ot'er customs ot'er dhan jus' mine own.
 
I am guessing since you asked about elves specifically that the object of your affections is one of my kin.

I should tell you that while it has been known to happen, we will rarely marry a race that is not as long-lived as ourselves. Losing a loved one in as few as fifty years is surely heartbreaking, and as such marrying a human, romani or other short lived race is generally discouraged by families and in some cases even by the leadership.
 
Ezri said:
I am guessing since you asked about elves specifically that the object of your affections is one of my kin.

I should tell you that while it has been known to happen, we will rarely marry a race that is not as long-lived as ourselves. Losing a loved one in as few as fifty years is surely heartbreaking, and as such marrying a human, romani or other short lived race is generally discouraged by families and in some cases even by the leadership.
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Ok, I don't know you. But you seem to be saying that if you can't love someone FOR LONGER THAN MY RACE LIVES it's not love. All living beings are born with a fire, and it is equal in all of us. I pity you elves who temper the flame because of fear that you need more for 300 years from now. We Ogres do not temper our emotions, this is why we die young. This is probably why you'll never see an Ogre die unhappy, we seize each moment and emotion as if we'll never see it's like again. Usually we're correct.
-Lorgwut
 
I am too young to have really loved, yet, but as I am from a different land then Ezri I believe differently concerning Love and Marriage. If you can love a person while they are alive then you can love a person after they have died.

I honestly appreciate the marriage ceremonies of Court the most primarily because they are filled with a lot of poetic vows and ceremonial partying. I have witnessed two marriages between Nobles so far and both had large parties afterwards, so I highly recommend that route. Basically, the marriage is arranged (for whatever reasons) either between the two individuals, with or without the parents. The ceremony consists of the two individuals with a government official giving a long proclomation of the love and beauty of the ceremony while standing in front of a crowd. The two individuals then say their vows to each other, such as promising to always honor each other or something, followed by the government official asking if they take each other to be wed. After saying "I do" there is much rejoicing and merry-making! And booze. Can't forget the booze.

Regards,
Alavatar Peece
Guildmaster of the Brotherhood of the Star
 
I do not belive that Ezri was saying that the shorter lived races don't live long enough to be loved. I belive her point was that many elves would not intentionaly seek out the love of a shorter lived race, because the pain of having to say goodbye so many years, even centuries, ahead of their own death is too much to shoulder. Many Biata also belive this. I belive it. I never imagined that the day would come where Veria was gone, and I remained but was not an old, old man. Imagin if you can, being with someone for 50 years, then loosing them to forces beyond your control. Now picture 80. Now 200. Many will say its better to have the love while it lasts but I sugest that the pain is much more than they realise.

As for courtship, I sugest showing the object of your affection who you truly are. Show them the things you love. Show them your passions and your skills. Have fun, live your life. If and when the time is right, you will know.
Till the Full Moon is no more,
Amaranthus Landcharmer
 
Thank you Amaranthus, that is indeed what I was trying to relay. I have many friends who are Romani, Vansir and other races whose lifespan is a fraction of mine, and I would never dishonor or belittle them by saying they are not worthy of love.

However, imagine what sorrow befalls those who must lose their loved one so prematurely. Or worse, watching your children grow old and die long before your hair has even gone gray. It is indeed a burden that I could not bear.
 
Mi oma, she eez a mystic wood elf dhat married a Romani and I have asked her dhat mysel'. She say dhat even after dhe light of her husband has passed to dhe ot'er side, dhe familia shall still exist and she still exist to watch o'er dhem. It eez dhe love of a legacy dhat she shall bear witness to and protect for as long as she shall live. Dhe Dagon Romani have mated wit' elves before. Per'aps eez why we are so long lived for Romani. Mi oma Dagon died when she were a hundred seventeen, no lies.
 
Ya gunna Marry him?

Ya ask him if he likes ya like dat yet?

fur mahself ah don't know much bout love or marrage... da one ah tried ta mate wit doest like meh

Jehan
 
AllianceCHI said:
Ya gunna Marry him?

Ya ask him if he likes ya like dat yet?

fur mahself ah don't know much bout love or marrage... da one ah tried ta mate wit doest like meh

Jehan
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Don't feel bad Jehan... would you really want her after Bart?

Plus... even if she doesn't like you, she likes Marcena even less...

Garmok
 
Well, he say dhat he loves me, I go from dhere, ah?

And who likes Marcena even less? Kitsune? She say she like me.
 
Marcena said:
Well, he say dhat he loves me, I go from dhere, ah?

And who likes Marcena even less? Kitsune? She say she like me.
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You asked her if she was diseased after going off with Bart. Sure. She likes you.

And you wonder why you get beat down all the time...
 
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