Jinns house

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Solrex, after trying to get a response in, but people speaking before he could, sorta cutting him off since he couldn't find the right moment to jump in, he finally found a place in the conversation to do so.

He turned to the alchemist Phalenopsis, and quickly returned, "That's alright, I'm not in the mood to get drunk. Also, nice seeing you again." Indeed, Solrex wanted to distract his mind from his problems, not just delay them to later. Being drunk was cheating your way out of your emotional problems.

Turning to the first voice that spoke to him, he responded, "With all the fun? Well, I've nearly died several times over, and I've felt real fear. To be honest, it's scary, but I've never felt more alive. You know, opposites make each other more visible. The fear of death makes life so much more valuable, wouldn't you say? What would life mean if there was no risk of death?"

Solrex heaved, breathing in, trying to calm his nerves, talking to people was a bit of work, but it was always worth it to get these skills trained and practiced. Person to person interaction is necessary for life, so it is a skill that Solrex trained regularly, as necessary.
Rohnan looked sheepishly at Phal. “I might have grabbed ‘em all. It’s safer, less walk’n around. Oh! That reminds me, I was gonna ask you if you can make a bunch more of these for... reasons. Good ones, I promise. Well, not me drinking on the porch good reasons.”

Rohnan listened to what Solrex said and responded as she found a space to lay down, bunching up her cloak as a pillow. “Ha! That’s how it starts, it’s the fear then the whoo I’m alive! Then the fear again. It’s more addicting than euphoria. Or so I hear. Though I don’t recommend actually dying though. And having someone to celebrate the ‘whoo I’m alive’ parts with would be nice. Ya know, in a more active way.” She made sure that she didn’t direct the last part towards Solrex. Not that she was worried that the baby Dryad would pick up on the suggestive nature of her statement.
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Solrex paused. He then spoke, "Well, I meant it towards the conversation going towards two opposite sides of a coin requiring the other in order to exist. However, you're not wrong when you say that fear is addicting. It makes me just slightly lean towards not learning how to use a weapon, but instead to focus fully into learning how to heal. It can't be that bad not having a weapon, right? It just gets your blood pumping. I was never one for fighting anyways."
“Eh, I’ve always been a caster who can swing a weapon. Probably a lesson I learned from someone who I deeply care about and can no longer remember.” Rohnan paused for a moment in thought then started laughing. “Maybe you’ll get the inkling to learn how to penetrate things with a long object. For you I highly suggest bone. Just get real addicted to sticking your bone in different places... Someone help me, I literally can’t stop.”
"Good to see you, too, although I'm going to disagree that death and life are opposite sides of a coin." Phalaenopsis said casually, "It's always seemed more like a cycle to me, so I'm never really worried about what might happen after I die. If I come back as some sort of reincarnation, then great, otherwise, I don't think it's really worth thinking about."

At Rohnan's apology, he snorted. "I told you to take as many as you wanted, so drink them all if you really want to; I can make a bunch more easily. Although you might want to slow down, each one lasts a while and more don't make you any more drunk. But she does have a point, Solrex," he said, "having a weapon to defend yourself isn't a bad idea, although telling you to get one would be rather hypocritical of me since I don't carry any, either. Consider getting really good at dodging if you don't want to carry one. Or I guess learn to be happy bleeding a lot."


Striking a match on a nearby tree, Baibh lights one of his smokes as he leaves his cabin and happens to overhear Calan's last comment as he comes close to Jinn's house, apparently on his way to a forest stroll, "Jinn, ye' buckin' up yet? About te'head fer me constitutional but wan'ned teh make sure yeh were feel'n better about the last two months." he interjects before taking a long drag on the cigarette, the cherry lighting up in the midday sun.

"Hope the aftermath is find'n ye'all well."
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Solrex paused for a moment, then retorted, "So have you ever flipped a coin to settle a debate before? As it spins through the air, it cycles between the two sides in an ebb and flow, heads, tails, life, death, birth, eldering out, and so forth. Without old age and death, life and birth could not exist. Even if they could exist, they would be grey, and without meaning."

Turning to the other person, he threw empty mana up, and caught it, and spoke, "As for a weapon, yeah, it's something I should do, and yes, getting charged and stabbed by drake and having my body almost destroyed by one hit is scary, but at long as I don't get hit by the lethal attacks, I can always just heal it back."

Looking at the trees wilting, the leaves, the bare branches, heck, even his own leaves wilting a little bit, he sighed, listening to their responses. He then spoke, "What would be a good weapon? A sword? A polearm? Could you wield a polearm with your shoulder like you would a broom, or is it a two handed weapon and in need of both hands to hit hard enough? A throwing weapon might be nice, so could a staff. Decision paralysis might just prevent me from choosing something at all! Got any ideas?"
Phalaenopsis raised an eyebrow at Solrex's response, but remained on the ground with his eyes closed. "I don't resolve issues that matter to me with a coin toss, no, so I've never used a coin flip to decide anything more important than between one drink or another." he said simply, "As for it cycling back and forth between heads and tails as it goes through the air, it eventually stops on one or the other when it lands, so unless you're implying that everything will either end up living forever or dying instantly when the cycle stops, it's not really the same."

He stifled a yawn with his hand, and sat up, his brow furrowed. "You're welcome to think that death and life are both necessary for either to have meaning, but I'm going to disagree and say that life only has whatever meaning you want to give it, and that death is just one aspect of it. Dying just ends your opportunity to change your life, and knowing you'll die doesn't inherently make your life somehow more bright or meaningful. I'd say it's almost the opposite, actually; being under constant threat of death is exhausting and stressful, and makes you desperate rather than fulfilled. Desperate people can and will do awful things to escape their circumstances, fulfilled people are content to keep their lives as they are."

He finally opened his eyes, stood up, and began to regather the plants he'd picked off of the railing. "Right now... I'd say that we're approaching a point where desperation will be a very real motivator for a lot of people, and at some point the time will also come when desperation gives way to despair and apathy; I just hope we don't reach the latter point."

His plants in hand, he strode towards the door, and paused with his hand on the handle. "My apologies, Baibh, for leaving so abruptly; my day was mostly good, but I need a break from heavy conversation for the time being, and I believe after my piece that simply won't be the case, so I'm going to my room to decide what to make these into later." he said, forcing at least some cheer into his voice, "I hope your walk-slash-patrol goes well, and that you don't get too much blood on yourself. Do you need some Potions before you go?"
A small snore slips out of Jinn as he had quietly fallen asleep on the porch, the suns warm rays lulling him into a nap. He snaps awake at the sound of Baibh's voice, and he sits up suddenly and looks around, wiping his eyes.

"What, huh, who the fu... ugh." Jinn blinks as his brain processes what was asked of him. "Yes, yes, I'm as bucked up as I'm going to be Baibh. But no I am not feeling better about the last two months, and I never will. I've never lost someone in the reaches until Orcelion's last month, after almost two years of monthly missions into those horrible places." Jinn holds up a finger. "And before you say anything about loss being acceptable and what not, there was an acceptable loss and that was me."

Jinn pulls himself up and pulls a pipe out of his satchel. Slowly stuffing it he walks over to Baibh, smoke puffing out as he lights it. His body stiffens as he walks, the intoxicate effect visibly wearing off. He puts his hands on his friends shoulder and looks him in the eye.

"But please do not mistake those tears I shed in your home for me giving up, or breaking down. Every life lost under my care hurts me, but they were tears of rage, of anger, and of frustration. I want to see this done, but not at the cost of our lives. Don't get me wrong, I know that lives must be sacrificed in the effort, but not frivolously. We are not copper pieces to be thrown in a wishing well, we matter more than that... even if the powers that be don't seem to think that...."

Jinn gives his head a shake. "Sorry, I'm ranting and keeping you from your... constitutional. I have a lot of thoughts scattered into many directions." Turning away he fishes anouther vial out of his satchel. "As long as I have these I'll be fine. I am sorry though Baibh, but I did lie to you. I might be able to get a little bit more........*super dramatic pause* bucked up..." He says as he uncorks the newest vial and downs it as he returns to his place on the porch. Taking off his kimono he rolls it up into a pillow and lays on it, shutting his eyes, pipe still smoldering beside him.
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Rohnan propped herself up on her elbows and listened to the conversation that Jinn was having with Baibh as she watched the baby Dryad pester Phal into storming off, or at least what was storming off for Phal. Once Jinn was settled back down on the bench she made sure that the lit pipe wasn’t likely to topple over and burn anything.

She then turned to Solrex and said, “the best weapon to use is one that you can actually use. If you’ve never trained with a weapon before I suggest going to find someone who can teach you. Try the Home Guard. I don’t think that anyone here is in the right state to properly help you with much at the moment.” She then slumped back down on her makeshift pillow and closed her eyes. Not caring to watch if the Dryad walked away or not.

She pulled the flask back out of her pouch and took a deep drink. The intoxicates weren’t helping her mood, maybe the regular boring alcohol would.


Calan politely nods to everyone on the porch as he stumbles into the house. Once inside he finds his way to his bed and collapses.


"Hah. Can't get ri'o'me tha' easy yeh horn head." Baibh spurts as he ascends the veranda, his boots audible with their heavy gait. Unsheathing one of his shortswords he pokes Jinn in the ribs just to make sure he's awake for the coming tirade.

"The only acceptable loss would'a bin you eh?" Baibh starts, poking Jinn harder in the ribs, "So ye'd rather someone else take up the mantle that's apparently wearin yeh to the bone? Yeh think it's noble teh say that since yer leadin the only one who should die should be yeh?" The ginger frowns as he looks to the tari nor and his compatriots, "We're in a war. From what I've heard yeh'v bin in a war fer years and it's already drawn on yer resources and lives. We're fightin', we've closed one o' the realms which I'm sure many didn' think we could do -and- when we were faced with certain doom, through yer leadership we only lost one."

Baibh replaces his blade in it's sheath and waits for Jinn, staring at him quite intently. "C'mon then depressed boy, troops are allowed t'get upset about the loss of their fellow troops; the Brass aren't."
Without opening his eyes Jinn pushes the blade away with one hand.

"My loss is acceptable as I am still strong in spirit, and know I will return at least one more time. That is an acceptable risk, as no one else would be taking up this mantle quite yet. If I was to die, then i also have a plan for afterwords as well."

Feeling the poking again Jinn let's our a noise of exasperation and pulls himself to a seated position.

"My people wear our emotions on our sleeves, be it lust, happiness, anger, or sadness. Every single life I take under my command means more to my than my own. When i lose one, I feel it in my core being. I know that more loss is coming, to expect anything less would be foolish. But would you rather me be uncaring and unfeeling? Would I be better served leading without my emotions? To let more of us die if it means the smallest victory? I can't do that! My emotions make me who I am, they guide the decision's I make, and they keep me going. My anger and rage keep me in this fight and when it is time to delve into the realms again, they will be there boiling over! So yes, I will be a depressed boy when we suffer loss, but that's what you get if you want me to continue to lead these missions!"
Rohnan groaned as she sat up. “The problem is Baibh, no one here is ‘the brass’, not really. It’s ridiculous to assume that anyone here can just be the backline commander, looking at any of our deaths as pawns on a chessboard...” she smirked, “That’s what Az’Caine is for.”

Rohnan stood and picked up her cloak. “And Jinn, just because your death would be an acceptable loss to you, doesn’t mean that it would be for anyone else. It’s great that you have a plan incase that happens, but honestly that’s not good enough. You matter too.”

“Yes we’ve dumb lucked our way into closing one of these reaches, but I doubt we are going to easily be able to do so again. And we definitely aren’t when people are being left out of conversations and their ideas are being missed. Whether we like it or not, this group of misfits is in charge of saving the world. We are under prepared, under trained, outmanned, and nearly out of resources. We need every single one of us if we are going to complete this task.” Her voice changed from the serious demeanour that she was using before and became flippant. “Either that or we all eff-off and just sit back and watch the world burn.”

Rohnan turned and headed into the house. She needed to have a conversation with Phal.
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"She does have a point you know... ain't no top brass 'round here. I was a tour guide just a few years ago who was thrust into this life. I'm not a solider, a military man, or a commander. I'm just a sylvanborn with a loud voice."

With a groan Jinn climbs to his feet and faces Baibh.

"I am honestly doing the best I can, with what I have. What you see is what you get."


Baibh smirks as Rhonan walks past him and into the house, "No brass eh? You'n I both know that I know -exactly- what an Adeptus Major can be responsible for. It's -you- that thinks ye aren't brass." He clears his throat and horks off the side of the veranda to accentuate his point.

"When it comes down teh'it, it don't matter what we do an' don' know, no plan survives contact with an'enemy. Ever. Whether or not people consider us soldiers, we are. We're fightin a war and staying in this city means that we acquiesce teh be part o' tha' war, we get more trainin' then nintey percent o' the 'soldiers' I've ever known, we have direct lines to the most important an powerful people in the realm, who come teh visit us regularly. Any other commoner cannit even name half o'the people most of us know on a first name basis."

He cracks his neck to the side, his emotionless demeanour not betrayed by the tone of his words, "You don' get a 'plan' fer when ye go down because you are the active commander in those missions, you're first in last out and ye know that. More importantly though, yer the one tha' makes the calls while we're there. If ye'd died first in Ballenox' realm we woulda all died and ye know it, so shut yer fuckin gob abou' that self deprecative bull. It's not useful an' yer just ruinin' the morale of yer own troops."

Baibh makes a point to stand between Jinn and either the stairs or the door to his house, hoping this wasn't a conversation that the tari nor would attempt to walk away from.


Solrex simply watched, unsure of what to say. He then decided upon saying, "If it's if any consolation, I haven't died yet, so I should be fine to still be a little reckless in my healing. Still, two good hits through my armor and I'm done for without another healer, or at the very least first aid. And, I don't have any life spells, and I don't think I ever will, so think of that what you will."

Solrex tossed his empty mana up into the air, catching it, and tossing it again. He spoke, "All this courage stuff you guys are talking about, I've never thought about it. I'm the frail scholar that starts bleeding out in 3 good hits. It's not anything close to courageously taking 20 hits for the team. However, for someone else, I could turn those 20 hits into probably 30 or 40, making their job easier. Does that make me courageous at all?"
"Sure, I know Azcaine and The Fate spinner, but so does every member of the sanctum or weavers in every city a guild house exists. As for the self depreciation or whatever, I'm sorry it seems that way, as that is not my goal here. I'm not going to run off and sacrifice my life, nor am I going to take unnecessary risks with it or anyone else's. I'll stow it for now though, just for you."

Jinn winks at Baibh and chuckles, .

"But know that that isn't what ruins the moral of my..... troops, as you put it. They are frustrated that we have seemingly been left to our own devices while being put in charge of saving the world. When I met you a few months ago, did you think that in a few months time you would be in the situation you are in now? Meeting the most powerful and secretive people in our shard, fighting the most dangerous enemies you could ever imagine? You didn't even believe in dragons back then! Yet here we are..."

Jinn clasps Baibh on the shoulder and looks him in the eyes.

"Given everything that has happened I am glad you came to the sanctum that day. I know that few months have been an emotional carriage ride, but like I've said before, I'm stubborn. I will continue to act and feel how I act and feel. But I will take your advice and let others die before I do. I plan on seeing this damned mess to the end, and that means going into and sealing off every single one of those horrible realms. I know that it will probably get worse before it gets better and I know there is more loss to come. But I also know that you have my back, and that's why I'm glad we met. I also know that every time we come back I should expect you at my porch being a hard ***, but that's because you care... but don't worry, I won't tell anyone."


Baibh snorts derisively, and looks around to the few still on the veranda, "Ye better not tell anyone, and ye kin count on me bein the hardass as much as that's gonna help yer mission." His posture relaxes after saying this and he takes a few moments before he continues, "Us meet'n a'the Sanctum tha' day was a bi'o fortune, tah. It's given me somethin else teh focus me skills on, an' it's kept -most- of the demons at bay, yer right I didn' thin' I'd be where I am back then; I also thin' I could'na gone on doin' wha' I was doin very much longer withou' bein lynched."

Baibh clasps a hand onto Jinn's shoulder and locks him dead in the eye before saying, "But wha' -you- gotta remember, the next time yer starin' down a shitty situation with hard choices teh make is tha' -you- are the one responsible fer givin' mos'tah the people here tha' chance, they're gonna look up teh you and if you're frustrated they will be, and if yer celebrat'n the lil'thin's they will be. It's hard an' as much as we all kin, we're -all- gonna see this **** through teh the end, otherwise we'd be gone. There's an open portal fer anyone who doesn't want teh be here an' we all know that."

Letting go of the tari nor Baibh moves down the steps of the Veranda, passing Solrex he says, "Ye keep workin' on tha' healin' ability, we'll have hard work for ye soon enough lad, ye listen teh the hornhead here." Indicating to Jinn with a toss of his head before he pulls another cigarette out of his pack, cups it with a lit match in the other hand and takes a tentative puff, making his way away from the house and into the woods yelling from a good distance, "AN' BE READY FOR NEXT MONTH, I DON'T WAN' THE BUGGER TEH KNOW WE'RE COMIN' UNTIL WE GOT THE BAG OVER 'IS HEAD, TAH?" Before disappearing into the woods.
Jinn shakes his head as he watches the human depart. Turning to Solrex he says.

"Don't worry to much about what is courageous and what isn't right now. Just prepared for life here in the Lux to get harder before it gets better. You came here at a rough time, a dangerous time."

Jinn turns to go back inside his abode. As he opens the door he says, with out turning around.

"You didn't die in your first night here, and that is a bonus. But be prepared for death to come for someone, it always does. Now I just go write a speech..."

As Jinn enters the house the door slowly closes with a click.
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