Xavic,
It's true. I don't smile nearly as often as I used to. It doesn't come forward as easily as it used to. I certainly do miss the days it did. I know that, as of late, I've been quicker to anger and condemnation. It's not something I'm particularly proud of, and I hope to resolve that with meditation in the very near future.
Since the days you've known me, a great deal has happened. I've come to forks in roads, so many forks, and I've had to make choices. Some of them were harder than others.
I've seen the consequences of all those decisions, for good and for ill. I've also seen the consequences of being helpless, powerless, and unable to make a difference. I've since decided to only be in that position as little as possible. For every friend who doesn't die, for every innocent who's able to wake up in the morning to a good breakfast, for every person who is able to hold onto a shred of hope, I will pay whatever price I can to preserve that.
I've learned things, as is necessary for self-growth, and some of these lessons were harder to deal with than others. But knowledge gives you power, and with that, the ability to protect that which matters to you.
I walk the path of Life. That path is not always full of healthy leaves and singing birds. Sometimes, that path is full of burdens that will threaten to break you, or take your joy from you. But it is the path that I feel enables me to do the greatest good for this community, and I strive to be true to it.
May you live well, Xavic.
-Zeth
