John Finnegan - The Best of Us All - Rest in Peace

I am, in terms of most people in Alliance, still a newbie.

I admit that I have had hardly any interaction with John since I have not been to a NJ event.

However this thread has touched me deeply.

I have heard several mentionings about how John contributed to the game and how a great guy he is.

Any death that is unexpected is earth-shaking.

When I read this post, I think about what Clarence said to George Bailey in It's a Wonderful Life

"Strange, isn't it. How one life can touch the lives of so many other."

I hope that his memory will last as long as Alliance shall last.

I hope that his death brings people closer, although sadly not in the best of circumstances.

My thoughts are with John's friends and family.

I will close with an interesting coincidence.

I was listening to the Eurythimics and a fitting song came on called "Miracle of Love."

Edit: Here is the You Tube Clip:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Tt5nLKhWD78

Jim Welch
 
Hi all,

It's taken me a few days here, reading everyone's heartfelt entries to screw up the courage and mindset to say something about John. I'm not a writer by nature, so wordsmithing and even stringing together coherent sentences can be a bit of a task for me, so bear with me.

Like many of you, I met John my first night in Ashbury, sometime in '92 or '93 (spotty memory, I'm old). I turned to answer the door of the Duchess' cabin and came nose to nose with that creepy-*** mask John wore when playing the Mummy king. That was the first of many memorable moments during those salad days with John, both attending and away from LARPing. It was with a smitten gleam in his eye that John introduced me to a wicked-witch-clad Colleen, green-warty nose and all (you didn't think you could get away without mention of the witchy-nose, did you Colleen?). John also introduced me to the ridiculously-clad gypsy that turned out to be Patrick. I think it's quite possible that (like others) without the combination of John, Colleen, Patrick and Kathy, I might never have met the woman that would become my wife...

Having stopped playing for quite a few years now, it took accidental good-timing in most cases to get a chance to see John. I last saw John and Colleen at Kathy and Aaron's baby shower for their first child. He greeted me, as always, with a bear-hug and the accompanying mandatory "How ya doin', buddy?", like he'd seen me a week earlier. John was a rock, a constant. It's not that he didn't change over the years, but that with John you always knew where you stood. From his frustratingly accurate spell-chucking arm, to the way he greeted every one of us with the same absorbing, engaging personality. He made each and every one of us feel special, needed, and understood.

And for those of us who walk off to the side of the main road; the artists and musicians, misanthropes, fringers, loners, weirdoes, freaks, geeks, gamers, and nerds; it's not always easy to find someone so ready to not only accept you and see you for what you are, but also find someone who is willing to welcome that left-of-center part of you in the loud-and-proud way that John did.

I didn't realize how much I'd miss him until he was gone.

Colleen, Patrick, and family: Please let Brenda and I know if there is anything you need or that we can do for you guys.

Steve
 
Wow, I am sitting here in front of my keyboard not knowing what to write.

I am still in shock hearing that John is no longer with us. I met John back in the 90's playing Nero and have had the privilege to work with him on a number of plotlines and events. John was an amazing and talented man and the Larp community and the world in general has lost someone amazing.

My condolences to all his friends and family.

Tim Gile
 
To Colleen and Patrick, I don't even know what to say. I'm so sorry for your loss. John was a truly wonderful person and he will be greatly missed by everyone who has ever known him.

I haven't spoken to him in a few years, but I will always remember trying to go to sleep in the middle of the night at the "Rod of the Seven Rifts" weekend in Old Ashbury and hearing John as his big bad NPC yell out into the night (to no one in particular): "I WANT MY ROD! I WANT MY ROD! AND IF I DON'T GET IT I WILL COME BACK EVERY WEEKEND I DIRECT I UNTIL I DO!" I have too many other memories of working with John in and out of game in Ashbury to mention here, and every single one of them is a good memory. John was always ready with a kind word or advice whenever I needed it, and I will always appreciate him for that.

Heather Williamson

(Formerly Baroness Laurelin Goldsong and Celestria Sauros of Ashbury)
 
John was always a great presence, kind, smiling and always ready to give a word of encouragemant, or one of those famous big bear hugs. It was strange to see the drastice change from thegoofy characters he would play to the ones that would scare me half to death....all from the same wonderful man.

It is touching to see how many people are sharing and posting there memories of John. It's great to see that those of us that have strayed are coming to this site to share, and read.

I don't think it has fully hit me yet that he is gone, but he will be missed, and my life is all the richer for meeting him.

All our prayers and blessings for his family, our thoughts are with you.

Megan
aka Brynn
 
Almost six years ago I walked into Nero NJ with the idea that Nero has got to be the silliest thing ever. I told a friend that I'll give it a try. I only knew two people at that event and both kept me very busy. I got to meet John that event. It was a Saturday morning and I was alone, John looks over and asks if I wanted to go out and do something. I explained to him that it was my first event and all that I did was with my two friends. He assured me that its ok, that he believes in me. I figured it's something you tell people to make them feel more confident. He said he watched me and tells me I'm a stick jock. That I should do a lot of combat encounters. Keeps telling me to go afer the guy with the pointy ears, white sword, and a demon looking picture on his shield. After countless times my friends laugh and told me who I was constantly fighting. John never laughed and told me to keep doing it. At the final wave battle John took me out and said to stay by his side. Mass chaos as everyone is fighting each other and after seeing John getting mobbed by five PC's for some reason I thought, "HEY! NOBODY ATTACKS JOHN!!" and went to his aid. After the sand cleared John told me it was the best he's ever seen me fight. That he hopes I come back. I never felt so confident as I did that day. Every event I attended of his, he always called me to do encounters he thought I'd be perfect for. Never thought he would think of me outside the event.

Everytime I see John it was always greeted with a big hug and a genuine smile. He invited me into his game, his home, his life. He inspired me to be what I am today and what I can give to the game. I will never forget where I came from in the world of Nero, because I will always remember the man that made me the fighter I am today. I am sad by the loss of the greatest man I've ever met. My best wishes to Colleen and his family. Though I'm only one person, I am one who was made better because of John.

~Hau Tran
Gaara of the Black Forest
 
I just noticed his sig on this forum:

"The key to immortality is not having a life worth living, but living a life worth remembering." - St. Augustine
 
I just heard the shocking news myself, and wanted to come and offer my condolences, and echo the sentiments of so many others... John was a great person, and his loss is truly felt everywhere.

It has been some years since we last talked, but John started NERO just when I did, and we both became fast friends on Westmarch (of old). I can still fondly recall some of our conversations and many adventures together, and I was more than a little sad when the divide soon meant I was no longer adventuring with some of my good friends - John among them. I wish I had kept more in touch, and am grieved by the fact that I no longer will have the chance to do so.

He is one of those people who made "the good ole days" so good, and he will be sorely missed.

Michelle Mangio
(Michelle Cook back then, for those who remember me)
aka Lorana, of Westmarch, from the "Old Days" of NERO (MA)
 
The name John Finnegan was known to me before I ever attended a NERO event - and his reputation was one we all should aspire to emulate. I have to clarify: this was in Michigan, nearly a thousand miles away, and still I knew his name. While I never met John personally, his name has been mentioned in nearly every conversation I've ever had about this game, and that is not a small number. What impressed me most was that, persnickety as us gamers can all be on occasion, I never heard a single negative comment about the man himself. People didn't always agree with John, but they never had any doubt in their hearts about what a fair, temperate and generous-hearted person he was.

My sincere condolences to his family and friends, that you only had him for such a short time. I hope that the passing of time will show John's energy and heart continue to live on through his family, friends, and the game to which he contributed so much.

Christina
 
For the past two days, I'm waiting for someone to say, "Lay on." Then it hits me. I was schocked, dazed, confused, foggy, sad, angry, and so many more emotions. Today, I cried like a baby... and I can't stop. John was the greatest human I've ever met. He was caring, compassionate, friendly, funny, intelligent, creative, and my tears are hitting the keys.
Words can't sum up the greatness that was this man.

I remember many days during the Four Horsemen era, where we would bounce ideas off of one another for hours at a time on the phone. I loved working with him... his creativity had no limits. I remeber that it was during a faire day event with Barbarians or some such... and he and I began talking about the Vacarrans until all hours of the morning, fleshing out a few things for a plotline to come much later on. Pure Genius.

I remember the early days of Brooklyn and after a very successful run with Nordenn on a module ( they were desperate for a trap disarmer), JTF asked me to join Nordenn. I wasn't the barony type... (I ran with the old thieves' guild LOL), but I can't help but remember how honored I was that he asked me! His charisma was incredible.

I remember all the times in monster camp where I was too tired to get up and begin the day Saturday and Sunday mornings. John would wake me up with his song for me, "Wake up Jesse, Wake up Jesse, how'd ya like to bite my ***?" then stuck his posterior near my face. I would've kicked many a person in said posterior for doing that, but with John, I had to just laugh, wake up, and run plot.

No matter who you were... he treated evryone fairly. Everyone got a smile, compliments, and above all, he ALWAYS made sure that everyone was having fun. Despite insane stress levels behind the scenes at times, he never ceased trying to create a world of fun for everyone. We used to yell at him to go PC often... but it wasn't him. He'd rather make sure that everyone else was having a blast. Shosho no-show the dark elves called him. LOL

Once, when my North Jersey accent broke into my roleplay, he said to me you can take the boy out of Bayonne, but you can't take the Bayonne out of the boy. LOL He was always good for hilarious one liners.

I will miss his random singing, his warmth, creativity, genuine compassion, sense of humor, honesty, intelligence, honor, and a million other things. He had a way of bringing life to the room when he walked in. I am extremely lucky to have known him. Anything I learned from the game was due to JTF. Beside the game though, from which most of us knew him, I valued our talks about non-game-related things even more. It was those wee hours of the night conversations in camp or on the phone about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness that truly made me realize what an awesome human being John was.

I just re-read my whole post about 5 times and I still can't quite capture what it is I feel I need to say here. I'm a poet, a writer, and an English teacher and I just don't have it right now.

John,
I love you like a brother and will miss you always.

His memory will inspire me for a lifetime.

With love for friends and family,

Jesse Grabowski
 
What more can be said of John that has not already been said. A better friend, one would be hard pressed to find. The eternal child with the gift to keep us from growing old. An artist of words and concepts that take us all to fantastical places. Among the fairest and good hearted people I know. I can honestly say that some of the best years of my life had John in there.

John, you will be missed.
My most heartfelt sympathies go out to both families.


Michael Marzilli
 
Hello,

Many may of you not know me, and those that do remember me may not have
heard for quite a few years now. I would like to add my sentiments for John
Finnegan along with the rest of the NERO community. I had the pleasure of
working with John in a number of ways--as a player, a plot member, and as an
event writer/director. He was a great friend and collaborator, always
thinking for what's best for the game and everyone's enjoyment. He had an
impish sense of humor, a brilliant mind, and a heart as large as his
imagination. He was one of the greatest and a dear friend. I'll miss him
tremendously.
 
The past few days have been unreal. Jesse and I spent Tuesday with Colleen and her family and even after sharing their grief it still seems like it just can’t be true. For about as long as I’ve played NERO I’ve known John. Even way back at the beginning you couldn’t help but like him. I remember him driving Jesse and me to a NERO New Years Eve party in MA about 15 years ago and telling us, just barely qualified as acquaintances, his “5 year plan”. I remember thinking “Why the hell is this guy telling me his life story?” But that was how John was. You met him and he instantly counted you as a friend. He often drove hours out of his way to pick me up for events, even after I wasn’t on his team. He even paid for me to go on modules at the Brooklyn site when I was a broke college student. I can’t thank him enough for, in the early days of Ashbury, trusting me with some of the most important roles in his plot lines. He always seemed to have more confidence in me than I did, in NERO and in real-life.
He truly was my best friend. He was almost always the first person I called when things weren’t going my way or when I was depressed and he always knew exactly the right thing to say. In some of the worst moments of my life it was John giving a me a hug, telling me how much he cared about me and telling me that he considered me to be his brother that cheered me up. And it is those moments that I will always remember if I forget all the other times I spent with him. I can’t believe that I’ll never answer my phone again and hear “Hey Pal, haven’t heard from you in a while”, even when a while was only about a week.
John and I had our disagreements, mostly me not being able to understand how he could forgive those who wronged him (sometimes repeatedly). But that was how he lived his life, forgive and forget. He wanted to be friends with everyone he met and, for the most part, he was.
My life (and LARPing) wont be the same, but his memory will always be with me.


-Steve Babin
 
It's near the end of day three since my brother has died and he's still here. He has to be...how could my best friend be dead? My heart feels the loss, but my mind won't process it, won't accept it.

He's gone. I can type those words and through teary eyes, read them, but it won't ring true to me. If I accept it, then I've truly lost him. And I don't know if I can do that. I don't know if I ever will. Each day since his passing, I wake up here in his home, sure that I'm going to see him, that smile, that love that he had for me. Even through my darkest days, when I was more an unsociable raging beast then a reasonable and fun being, this man, John Finnegan, loved me, he wanted to spend time with me. You just don't replace friends like that.

I cannot lose him. I haven't made sure beyond doubt that he knew how much I thought of him, how much I loved him.

I talk to his empty chair in the living room where we had so many conversations...or down in the basement where we made so many blissful gaming memories.

But my friend does not answer.

I want to scream, let my howl shake the earth upon which John no longer treads, let it shatter the stars and the moon and the sun, all which will never again shine upon him. But I cannot. I must remain strong for my family, to see to it that that which needs completing is done.

So I come here to scream, if only electronically...here where John still so vividly lives through the love and memories of so many whose lives he touched.


-Patrick Von Raven
 
I never needed assurance of my feelings and opinions of John. Distance could not ever separate him from those he cared about. Time could not diminish the feelings we have for John.

Seeing just how many of you feel on the same level that I do, brings even more tears, and more joy in this dark time.

Please keep posting, please keep talking, please keep thinking of the grandness of John.

Though apart, we are in this together...these words brings more smile than tears. It shows that the eternal optimism of the human spirit that John harbors is real. We all doubted at times...we all questioned, but now at least I see

His life, his legacy, his time, well spent...on all of us
 
Von Raven said:
John still so vividly lives through the love and memories of so many whose lives he touched.
Click to expand...

As much as I hate the fact, I've had to deal with the deaths of a lot of people I have cared about over the last few years. This thread has shown us that John Tiberius Finnegan (What *WAS* his real middle name, anyway?) will never truly be gone. He didn't just know a few people, he touched a lot of people. For every story on this thread, there are easily a hundred not being told here. Even after his passing, his legacy is growing, as we all hear these tales and see one more thing that reminds us about how special he is.

I didn't talk to John as often as most of you, especially since I've been away from PA, I have seen him maybe once a year if I was lucky, when our busy schedules were able to overlap. I may have only had a few moments over the last ten years, but I cherish them. We only had John for 38 years, and we all wish we would have had more. All things considered, I'd rather have only had him for the time I did than to have not had him at all.

Okay, it's late. I need to go to bed so I can jump out of one plane before boarding another one to come home. See you all in a day or so.
 
Today is our Wedding Anniversary. Nine years ago today we were getting ready to spend the rest of our lives together. I don't know if I can do this. I'm so angry with John right now because he once made me promise him that if he ever died I wouldn't try to join him. It's all I want to do though and I can't because I won't break my promise. How can I go on after losing someone as special as him? I'm terrified of the silence that is to come when everyone goes home and back to their normal lives.

I want to scream. I want to hit something. I want to cry. I want to leave. John knew this and made me promise. He knew I would never break a promise to him. He is my best friend. He is my love. My world. I can't believe I just made plans for his party and now I'm making plans for his funeral. Why? How is this fair for someone like John? How is this fair for his family who lost another son and brother????

But I have no choice because I promised. I will still be here waiting until I can join him and hoping there is some sort of afterlife that we can share together.

Your posts have all helped me in many different ways. I don't expect them to go on forever but please keep posting awhile more.

I love you all
Colleen
 
It is inconceivable what you are going through Colleen. All of us are devestated by his loss. And all of us mourn the passing of an amazing person.

YOU too are an amazing person, and one we cherish. Our world cannot take the loss of another.

I know that in 2 weeks, 3 weeks, a month, two months, you feel that the shadows will creep in... and the silence will be deafening. But know that EVERY person on this thead, who said, if you need me call me... MEANT IT.

I urge every person to give colleen their number. And Colleen I urge you to call people. Tell us... I need you. I miss John. And we will be there. By voice, in person, in prayer, in thought in deed. Anything we can do we will do.

No one, will ever be able to adequately be there for you. But in what little manner we can, we will do to the best of our ability.

That is our promise to you Colleen.

Call us and we WILL answer.
~Erica
 
I started playing NERO 10 years ago - NPC for life was my motto, in no small part thanks to the efforts of John, Patrick, and Jesse. But things being what they were I moved away to Las Vegas for about two years after I had only played a few times, really, and only a few hours each time. When I came back, it's the dumbest thing to me, but I planned to arrive right before a NERO event - so I could get settled and then go and have a good time. I really didn't think anyone would remember me but I didn't care because I knew that no matter what I'd have fun.

John remembered me, though.

I walked into NPC camp and, like so many others have quoted him, he said "Hey buddy! How ya been? Haven't seen you in a while."

I drove 3000 miles, hung out with my family for a few days - but it wasn't until that moment that I felt like I was home again. I played a lot more after that.

I have friends, and then I have "NERO Friends." Really, though, that's a misnomer for family. John was like the older brother, I think. The wiser man who didn't make you feel like you were unwise when he showed you something about the game, or about life.

Henry
 
One of the encounters that stands out the most in my mind was an NJ event about two years ago. Some high level players were visiting from another chapter, and with the APL so high the weekend was rough. John walked past us hanging out in one of the pavilions - he was in his white headband. He looked at us and mused "What's this? A bunch of low level players hanging out where the big guys aren't around to spoil their fun?" He smiled to himself and said "Don't move."

We waited obediently, just itching to see what would walk out of NPC camp. And this chance encounter gave birth to a character called Skippy the Necromancer. There was roleplay, there was squishing of undead, and there was treasure. But more than that, it was John realizing that there were players - friends - not having a good time, and he did everything in his power to change that. And that's just the kind of person he was.

I can remember our first few seasons in the game - I worked on Saturdays and often could only attend half an event, so we would NPC. John would always smile and greet us with huge hugs - so happy to see fresh and energetic NPCs when everybody else was starting to get tired. He'd give us some fun roles - the slash meep comes to mind - and say how glad he was we were there.

Since I joined plot in HQ I haven't NPCd Jersey much, but I still got to see John's wonderful characters. From Calimar the wizard, to Aaron Valentar greeting my Sarr and welcoming her as a privateer in the Arandin Navy, every role he played was distinct and charismatic in their own way. And when I joined HQ staff John was always supportive, willing to talk about ideas and fill us in on the history of some of the plotlines that were still going.

Always friendly, always willing to help, always with a big heart and a smile. That's how I'll remember John.

Colleen,

Brooklyn, I feel like we are still just getting to know each other, and yet we all share your pain. This may sound weird coming from me, but if you need anything - please do call us. If it's just company, an ear, a shoulder or complete and utter distraction in any silly form you can think of, call us. 908-248-8524

With love,
-Queens
 
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